where am i?

my biological clock is screwed up and i am in a daze right now. yup, 11.15pm, and i just woke up. i feel as if someone is clamping my head, its just so painful. argh, hopefully it will go away after 10 mins. yesterday, i was not able to sleep despite lying on the bed for a few hours. and so, it went on like this, until its time to give tuition. at 1pm, my job was done, and it was time to go back to hall. i intended to grab something from hall instead from the hawker center nearby, as it is cheaper. yup, i am poor, every little helps. the mum of my students did not help my cause when she told me that 3 of the tuition sessions in january have to be cancelled, without telling me the real reason even after i asked. oh well, thats life. so i am considering whether should i get another tuition assignment, since the current 1 is not going to be able to provide me with enough income if things went on like this. but with my biological clock so screwed up and with me not knowing what to expect for next sem... i guess i will just have to put it on hold. just have to tolerate with eating cheaper food in school. and today i slept through lunch and dinner, not intentional and i am feeling the consequences now. argh... hungry hungry hungry. bread going to expire in 1 days time. time to clear it.

girls? duh

figuring out what a girl is thinking is the same as fishing a whale using a fishing rod or sneezing with your eyes wide open. its both impossible and suicidal. maybe its just me, but i sure am unhappy about the situations that are happening to me. since there is no way i can change them, the only thing i can do is to WHINE here. have any of u guys faced this problem i have? whenever you communicate with a girl over the net, the girl will almost always think that you have an ulterior motive for asking or saying something out of the norm. so what do i mean by the norm? "what are you doing?" "how are you?" "have you eaten?" these are the questions that you normally ask. revolve around these topics for too long and you will get the most boring cookie-cutter conversation that can ever take place on earth. sounds uber? i bet you think so. i am not saying that all girls are like this, but as far as i am concerned, it covers quite a HUGE PERCENTAGE of the females i know. i bet girls will go around telling each other, "hey, do you know that how boring is XXX?" "oh, not him again. here comes the boring conversation." and when you try talking about anything other than the norm with girls, they will go "eeew, this guy must be trying to get my attention" "omg, what is he trying to do? woo me?" FOR GOD SAKE! no matter what we guys do, it all seems wrong. issit becos we guys are dumb or what? this applies to a LARGE EXTENT between people who knew each other through the awesome internet. first, girls whine about guys being boring in their conversation online. and when we do try to be interesting, they will think that we are out to take advantage of them. freaking hell, how dumb can that be? maybe girls should start going on the net to download some conversations between guys and start analysing them. if a guy who talk something out of the norm is trying to get fresh with the girl he talks to, then he must be a BISEXUAL since that is how we communicate with guys too! here is the difference between the response from different sexes.

BOY A: "hey, i just downloaded an uber cool program that will help us in our work!"

below are the responses

BOY B: "REALLY!? where did you download it? send me!! you're da man!"
BOY C: "omg, you're the genius. send me the program dude, let me show you what i have got here too!"

GIRL B: "oic"
GIRL C: "oh is it so? thats great."

see the difference? are the examples VERY VERY FAMILIAR? of course these conversations were made up, but it is portrayed in the manner based on my experience in my whole life minus the time when i did not have my own computer. right now, girls must be shaking their heads thinking, "this guy is nuts! he is making up stuff!" for god sake, open ur msn, right click on any guy's nick, view, message history. do this 20 times on 20 different guys before you start flaming me. now does it looks FAMILIAR TO YOU? according to my personal OWN EXPERIENCE, conversations between guys are almost always interesting as they can talk about almost everything, while a conversation of different sexes is often ended abruptly by our human counterpart. for guys, if we are unhappy with something, we tell each other. for girls, they just act stupid thinking that we are stupid. "oh, nothing." "really? haha" "no" some guys might not be too smart, but GUYS GENERALLY ARE NOT STUPID!

i have a rather bad experience with one of my female friend recently, and it really scares me quite a bit even until now. as for now, whenever i talk to her, i am extremely careful and soon, i guess i might not even bother talking to her anymore as i am getting the kind of messages girls send when they think "GUYS ARE STUPID". there was once when i teased her a bit to initiate a conversation, i got a reply that shocks me for a couple of hours. i was like "what the hell? i was just trying to initiate a conversation with a joke" obviously, her response was VERY BIG with the usage of "shit" "damn" in a serious tone. and what i said was a harmless joke. when i ask whether was she angry, she replied "no" "my response wasn't big". i was like "oh well, what can i do" doing one thing and saying she is not sounds like a big turn-off to me. so that means i will NEVER joke with her anymore, since i CHAT TO HAVE FUN, not to GET SHOCKED. it was tiring to figure out what girls meant with their words, and it still IS tiring doing that. so after some tired moments figuring out the weird behavior, i gave up. ok, if the person involved is reading this, it should be quite obvious. yes, i am talking about you. judging from the LITTLE interactions between us, i think that you will be defensive and fuming mad. oh well, i am really sick of having to be overly cautious when talking to others and finds no fun in conducting a boring conversation, so i have to thrashed this out. this goes to EVERYONE OF YOU, and its because there are TOO MANY CASES and i can't PUT THEM ALL UP, doesn't mean you are NOT ONE OF THEM. i guess its time for you girls out there to change your thinking. stop thinking about "guys should initiate" "guys should take the first step to chase us not us chasing them". HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE TRIED AND GOT SHOT DOWN? USE SOME BRAIN BEFORE SPROUTING OUT THIS KIND OF SH!T! if this sounds FAMILIAR to a few girls that i know, YES, i am talking about YOU ALL. i am not trying to be offensive here, but to educate you all in your ways of thinking. its not that we DID NOT TRY. when a guy do not try, girls call them "useless" "coward" "sissies" and when a guy DO try, girls call them "flirt" "pervert" "nuisance" so what the freak do you girls want? is being NEGATIVE ALL THE TIME a trendy thing to follow? there is this occassion when i did something. i went to get the handphone number of a girl that i do not know, FOR THE FIRST TIME. yup, its the FIRST TIME that i do this. after doing that, i went back to my table of friends whom i have not met for quite some time. they asked me why did i left the table so suddenly, so i told them about it. the only girl at the table looked as if she saw TWO ZILLION DINOSAURS RAMPAGING TOWARDS HER. "you mean you go around asking for number from girls you don't know?" and for god sake, for a moment, i thought she needed a listening aid. i mentioned FIRST TIME and she used the words "go around". being a kind person, i repeated myself stressing the FIRST TIME again. "wah, you do that one ar?" what the freak. is she drunk or am i so bad at getting the idea across to her? this is enough to prove my previous point right. no matter what guys do, girls will always think negatively as long as that guy is not her DREAM GUY ON THE WHITE HORSE. so what can we guys do after having said so much? NOTHING. YES, NOTHING! anyone has any solution to this can try posting it as a comment, who knows? you might win a NOBEL PRIZE if you can come up with a solution. LP, love and peace.

the feeling is back

it has been a long time since i felt this way. way back during pri 5. i have always topped the class from pri 1 to pri 5, until pri 6, i told my mum to stop forcing me to study and let me on my own. pri 6, i got my first 2nd. from then on, i never had any good results, my results went from bad to worse. since then, i thought to myself, there is always someone better than me, why bother to fight with them? that was the attitude then. everything changed when i entered university. my mindset has matured and i no longer think of comparing with others. its now more of outdoing myself, than the petty comparison of result among people. the biggest fear is self. i have now proven myself worthy of overcoming my inner fear, its time to face tougher challenge and reach a greater height. i shall challenge myself again next sem and push myself to the limit. FTW! For The Win!!!

ARGH!!! YAY!!! DUHHZZZ!!! COOL!!!

yup, having mixed feelings after seeing the result. it was a horrific experience i swear. when my friend first tell me, "the result is out liao", i was like, "huh?". its because i tried quite a few times just before he told me, but it just gave me the usual "your result is not available" popup. it must have been the most times that i have clicked a particular popup. when i refreshed it for the first time after my friend leaked the news to me, i was shellshocked. B+ for programming. WHAT THE?!! my assignments got A and A- and i get B+ overall!?@$#@$@ is this some kind of a joke!?@$@#$ i almost lost my sanity but was still clicking on the refresh button. Another subject appeared. B+ AGAIN?@$#@$#@$@# at least i expected it in the first place. B+ for my Mathematics that i did not managed to complete. just when i was starting to lose all hopes and let loose all the vulgurities i have mastered over my 21 years lifespan, another 2 subjects popped out. OMG! A+!!! finally something to pull up my grades! and for the last subject, effective communication, i got a B. hmm... guess i am unable to communicate very effectively hor? who cares, its 2 AU. MUAHAHA! so, after a roller coaster ride, my final GPA is 4.35!!! yup! its great for a person like me, who failed biology at 'O' level with a D7, got A C D for my 'A' level and dropped physics too. but there is one thing i am not very happy with... that is the grade for my programming. i just can't accept the fact that NTU awarded me a B+. unless i really SCREWED UP my written paper, which was way impossible, i couldn't have scored a B+ with my assignments result. having said that, i was surprised my economics was an A+ when i have totally no econs background. so, its a give and take issue. i shouldn't have argued regarding my programming assignment 2 grade, which i suspect is the reason as to why i get a B+. so a lesson to everyone, whatever the grade, just accept it, it will do you better in the long run. a lesson learnt here, but not too costly, =) TIME TO CELEBRATE!!!!

so hard to please

its so hard to please everyone. one approach can't be used on everyone. can anyone ever find an approach that can be used for everyone, for every friends you have? if yes, please post it here. all i want is to maintain relationships with friends, but it seems like i will get very negative responses at times. oh well, i guess i shouldn't waste time on pleasing everyone. this will only make me feel lousier and will do nothing to help. so... i will just talk to whoever wants to talk to me, hang out with whoever wants to hang out with me, play with whoever wants to play with me, study with whoever wants to study with me. time to go back to mosquitoes hunting, lOl! rainy seasons, lots of mosquitoes, DIE!!!

Release date of result

lOl, i just went to buy dinner and met my friend on the way back. She was heading for my blk to play some stupid game named "UNO". enough said, she told me, according to a reliable source, the release date of result will be on 28th dec 06. It better be reliable because i brought her to my blk, shielding her with umbrella at the expense of half of myself. if its not true... FIONNE TAN!!!! U BETTER BE CAREFUL!!!! lOl


*ok! its confirmed. its shown on studentlink.
http://www.ntu.edu.sg/OAS/Undergraduate+Studies/Examinations/Expected+Dates+of+Examination+Results.htm

good luck peeps! thank you fionne~ lOl!*

result when come out?

sigh, wait wait wait. wait until dinner time liao result still not yet out. why is NTU so inefficient?! think result won't be out today le. most probably like what my friend analysed, it will be tomorrow. i got more important things to take care of tomorrow, that is TUITION! yup, i am, once again, giving tuition to earn my own allowance. family too poor to provide me with allowance, so i have to earn mine. but at least i am taking a 90% loan and my mum is paying part of the remaining school fee and my hostel fee. =) actually i wouldn't blame anyone for me being so poor, instead i felt thankful. if i am not so poor, i will not make myself look for work, and also not appreciate the importance of money. also through giving tuition, i learn to be more patient and tolerant, but at times, my fiery temper will still appear. at least it has been cut down. responsibility is what differentiates a good person and a bad person. its vague, but i do not want to go deep into it too. its what i personally felt. for everything that involves you, there is a claus - "responsibility", that comes with it. for me, my responsibility is to give my best while i am giving tuition, have a right state of mind while studying, revising constantly instead of pacnicking just before the exam, help to ease my family's financial burden, keep my room clean, blah blah blah, the list goes on. i have learned how to take on more and more responsibilities and i believed that it has made me a better person. so now, i just have to wait for my result to come out! good luck to everyone! =)

i not stupid too

it has been a long time since i last watched a movie to the end. i finished 'i not stupid too' 2 hours ago and i have to say that it has to be the best production ever. it not only reflect the situations in singapore, but also fully elaborate every detail to its fullest. there were so many touching scenes that i swore i cried more than 10 times throughout the show. although i look very strong on the outside, i am very sentimental at times. if anyone of you have not yet watched the movie, i really suggest you watch it. be more generous with praises and more forgiving to shortcomings. give everyone a chance before you condemn them. they might not be of any help now, but when you are worse off than them, hitting the rock bottom of your life, they will be the one who will lend a helping hand to you. people who have suffered and gone through alot will not bear to see others in the state that they were once in. in the mean time, merry xmas to everyone!

tada! i'm back!

time to revive my blog again. lOl. its going to be the start of the school again and i am really excited! yup. it also means that the result is going to be released soon and i will be able to meet all my friends in hall again, meet new friends in school too!!! holiday has been boring, except for the times when i was gaming with my good friends. dota, titan quest, dota titan quest... lOl! with school going to start soon, i do have quite a few things that i have not do. one is to find at least 2 students to give tuition to. i have not start finding and i guess i should do it as soon as possible now. second is to prepare and at least know what i will be facing in the next sem. i have not gathered any materials for the next sem subject, not even the registration. oh well, guess i will do that once i hit hall on the 22nd. my internet connection at home will be cut off on 21st dec. finally, after 2 years of burden paying for the broadband, it is going to end this coming thursday!!! my wish is to do well for next sem and meet some girls!!! woohooo~! lOl~! ahhh! also time to train up my fitness le. must maintain my 'slim' body, lOl! ok, time to slp! =)