This morning, i woke up especially early. It was by no chance that i woke up as early as 7:30am, as i went to bed at 10pm last night. After a hearty breakfast, i came back home and decided to play some games. The game that came into my mind was "Monster Rancher 2". I will not go into detail on how great the game is, but will instead proceed on with my storytelling. I was looking for a particular program, leading me to go through a stack of disks. I found a text file that has an interesting name, "ABC.txt". Without hesitation, i opened it up and started reading it.
A glance at it made me feel sad. It contains the conversation between Angelia and me. FYI, Angelia was my jc friend. She is a cute, petite girl who is very nice by nature. I was totally disgusted with myself after reading through the text file. There were many occassions where i did not dare to read on, as it brought back many nasty memories. How can anyone be so horrible to a girl? Such foul attitude and vile sacarsm seem to come from only the most incorrigible guy on earth. And yes, that guy just so happened to be me. Even though i have apologized to her each time i remembered that incident, that does not reduce any guilt in my heart. Even though she forgave me each time i apologized to her, that does not ease the burden in my heart. Emotion can be a very scary thing and i have stretched it to the fullest in that greatly unwanted conversation. I have never ever truly hate her, not even a bit of dislike for her. I was overly protective of one of my male friend, which led to hurling abuse at Angelia. If you had read through the conversation, something bad happened at that time involving Sylvia and me, which also played a great part in generating the horrendous chat. I pushed all the blame on her, without ever knowing what was really going on. Till this day, i did not manage to find out what was the real cause behind everything that happened during that period of time. Despite trying all means, the mixed responses i had did not aid me in coming to a conclusion.
I am truly sorry for all the things that i have done... I might not mean anything to you, but i am sure that i have broken your heart some way or another... After that unfateful night, i knew that whatever i do, nothing will ever be the same again... I will not be able to be as cheerful as i have always been in front of you... I will no longer have the courage of asking you out even for a simple meal ever again... I will no more harness the ability to make you smile again... The once pretty face of yours with the world's greatest smile will no longer be available to me anymore...
If only i can turn back the pendulem, i will never want to talk to you. Because of that, you got to know me. Because of that, you got to enjoy happy moments with me. Because of that, you had lots of fun and laughter. And also because of that, i was able to hurt you in the worst possible way ever... There is a high possibility that you will not be able to read this in your whole life time... I also do not want to interfere with your life anymore by saying "Sorry" every one or two years... All i want is for you to have the best time you can ever had for the rest of your life... and never to meet another guy like me...
ABC.txt
