I have been shamed

I would like to share an incident that has happened recently which put me to shame.

Before we go on, let's take a look at another incident, about a NUS student from China, insulting Singaporeans through social media.

There has been quite a bit of talk about this kid lately. I would name him "InSUNity" after the mighty "Linsanity" just based on the amount of attention he is getting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all criticizing him for what he has done. First, let us go through some of the comments and actions from our dear Singaporeans.

Said the 24-year-old, "Why is our government paying him [Sun] to study here? How did he pass the selection process?"

NUS student Chng Kahhwee echoed Choy's sentiments. Said the 24-year-old, "His comment is an insult to the Singapore nation, especially the group which he had specifically mentioned."

"Given that he is a scholar background with educational funding from Singapore, the least he can do is to respect Singaporeans," she added.

There have even been calls from members of the public for MOE to revoke Sun's scholarship. In an online survey which asked respondents whether Sun's scholarship should be revoked, 96 per cent of those polled responded in the affirmative.

Ok, that's enough for now. There's one question in my mind. Why so much hate? There are people who doubted his character, said he was an insult to us, claimed he disrespected us, hoped to get him expelled and even branded him "worse than a dog".

So... What that Chinese guy did was to rage on his blog after getting stared for his mistake. Looks to me like he either had a bad day, or felt like he was mistreated. Of course, I do agree that in no way did the uncles who stared at him do the wrong thing. It's pure human instinct, and I bet that Chinese dude would stare at whoever that has bumped into him, until he apologized.

He is obviously in the wrong, but does it give the netizens the rights to "rape" him verbally?

Come on man. I believed 99% of the University peeps would have referred the Chinese as "Ah Tiong" at least once. Is this not an insult to them? When we complained about how those Bangladeshis stink on the MRT, are we sensitive? Typical Singaporeans would argue "I never publicly tell people ma. I tell my friends cannot ar?" Sadly, I have seen so many people posted comments like this on their facebook accounts. I can guarantee you that some of them have their profiles set as public. Hell yeah I have posted nasty comments about someone different from me at least once!

By calling others name, criticizing them for the plight they are in (I am quite sure those Bangladeshis didn't want to smell bad too), are you respecting them? Those Bangladeshis worked hard for us. Drawing less than $300/mth, they did all kind of work that no educated Singaporean would ever do. And I still have people drawing $3k/mth complaining about how bad life is!

Let's not glorify ourselves by putting the wrongdoers down. Unless you are 101% sure that you will not do what he/she did in that same situation, if not I would highly suggest you keep your comments to yourselves. It doesn't mean that I have no comment on every wrongdoing out there. It's just that I say things that I truly feel and choose not to join in the "fun" and be influenced by the consensus.

Most of the time I would make fun of them just like how I would make fun of myself to achieve the same entertaining effect. But when I get serious, I will make sure that I am truly responsible for what I have said and mean it.

Now, for the juicy part! The incident took place on the MRT. I was seated and there was a kid sitting opposite me. I soon realized that he was munching something in his mouth. To my horror, the next thing I saw was him tearing a huge piece of sponge cake, slowly biting bits and pieces off it.

"Wow, he got guts.", that's what I thought. I didn't do something insensitive or irresponsible, but the irony was that, the irresponsibility came from me not doing anything. I should have stopped him right there and then, but I didn't. Instead, I chose to look around, finding who is seeing what I am seeing.

Just when I was about to go over and stop him... Ok, I admit, I lied. Going over was never on my mind. I just depended on my eye power (stares) to convince him to stop. Not long after, an uncle went over and got seated beside him. He turned to that kid and started telling him, "Do you know that you shouldn't eat on the train? There's only a few stops left and you should wait until you are out of the MRT station." He didn't need to be Muhammad (Prophet) to tell when the kid was alighting, because there's only 4 stops left on the NEL :D

The kid replied softly about him being hungry and then looked away.

There were at least 20 of us on that MRT who saw that kid nibbling away at his sponge cake, but none of us did what we should have done for a prolonged period of time. Ultimately, it was the guy who was standing so far away that did the right thing.

And if this were to go on the News, highlighting how that kid was acting irresponsibly by dropping crumbs all over the train, the netizens will be raging so ever badly again. You and me might very well be sharing the same piece of article on our Facebook walls, shaming him for what he had done. But... given the same situation, would you have done what that unsung hero has done? We should be ashamed of ourselves, at least the majority of us.

I am not holy and I know it. I will never be that guy who can do all the right things and lead the world to behave more socially-responsible than just socially-acceptable. But still, I am at least trying to make myself a better person, learning from all the ugly mistakes that I have made. Life isn't about deciding who's right and who's wrong. Life is about identifying what is truly right and what is truly wrong, do the right things without succumbing to repeating the wrong ones. Don't be a follower, be a leader of your own. I'm definitely not a leader, but neither am I contented being a follower.

That Special Someone

I just had a run with my ex-supervisor and we talked about some of the craziest things in life. Definitely not anything related to being wild or anything, but instead more of the views on things that happened around us.

To start things off, we weren't agreeable on each and every thing, not even close. Our views can be described using the word "bipolarity" at times, but that doesn't stop us from talking about them.

Think about it. How many people in your life can you confide in? There are definitely things that you won't normally share with your "friends", but I believe there aren't a lot of people you can share them with openly too. At least that rings true for me.

Let's call this bunch of special people "X". I have come to realize, it really varies from people to people in their choice of "X". Different people look for different traits in a person in order to qualify him/her as "X". For example, some would be attracted to "X" who is truthful, while other might prefer their "X" to be sympathetic. Some will choose "X" based on fondness, and a handful would be openly opened to "X" who gains their respect.

Only we know ourselves best. Not really true, but I do make it a point to keep myself in check every now and then. Gathering all the "X"s in my life, I have come to a conclusion. Respect plays a huge role in determining who I would love to be that "X". Nothing huge, as it's just a preference. Maybe you could try giving it some thoughts and figure out who are you more inclined to pour your heart out.

To me, it doesn't matter at all if that "X" agrees with me 100% on everything. Contrary to popular belief, most, if not all, of my "X" friends have criticized or offended me on various occasions. Some even do it on a regular basis. But... who cares? It's the RESPECT that I have for them that matters, their honesty in front of me that I value. Of course, that doesn't mean I am a sadist or anyone who insulted me will be qualified as "X". It is because, I respect them in what and how they do in their lives.

Receiving criticisms and advises is part and parcel of life. I am never afraid of facing the truth and the brute honesty that comes with it. But I do agree to a huge extent, it really depends on where is that piece of information coming from. The same line told by 2 different person is mostly likely accepted by someone differently. Even I myself admit that, I just wouldn't listen to people who didn't gain enough of my respect. It's a flawed trait of mine, which I couldn't change despite knowing that for a fact donkey years ago.

Ultimately, it really boils down to individual's acceptance level. If I have to kill every mofo who told me I am stubborn, I would be raking in a ton of kills by now. Instead of listening to "Nah, you're great", why not let's all try to accept the truth for once? Truth hurts, but it's part of growth.

Let's not fall slave to the technology that we are so proud of. Social media has made most of us to read what we want. Try to think back, when is the last time you read something that is the exact opposite of your opinion and stopped to think about its relevance? This doesn't mean that your opinion is wrong, but you can't prove that you're right without getting out of your comfort zone either. Most of us are trapped inside the filter bubble, falling prey to the denial trap. Perhaps, the links below will help.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/the-paradox-of-social-media.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/eli_pariser_beware_online_filter_bubbles.html

It's late and I have got to hit the hay now. Hopefully, I would be able to share my thoughts on another topic that has been brought up today.

Death: Revelation of The Ugly Humanity

- A death in the army reinforced my take on life.

My Take on Friendship

- An initiative speaks a thousand words.

真的很感动！

虽然我们冷战了那么久，当再一次说话的时候，你还是那么的热情。至少我还是看得出那是真诚的表现。尽管我显示多么的不在乎，你还是蛮在乎我的喔。这令我真的真的很感动~

有可能是因为你那“损友”恶作剧的关系，我们才会再一次的相遇吧~

真没想到我把你删了好友，你还是在那天“偷看”了我的脸书！又是问这个，又是问那个的，让我觉得。。。得到关心的感觉真好！更不可思议的是，连我在脸书求要的 financial calculator，你也主动地伸出援手。你几时变得那么的体贴啊！！！

和你回家的那一晚，我竟然 shi1 sheng1 了。想到哪去？？？是失声啊！无法正常的与你哈拉，感觉好难受。你一直担心我没办法和德士司机沟通，硬要走远路先让我到家。幸好在我的坚持下，你也乖乖的接受了“男孩应该送女孩回家”。不是绅士啦，只是怕那么晚了，不想让你太晚回家太累了。都加班了一整晚，我挺得住，你未必行啊 (:

也许你不知道吧，我总觉得没得到过你对我的关心。这也就是我们起争执的原因吧。只是这几天的你，实在是让人刮目相看了。可以说。。。我受宠若惊了！有那么一刹那，我对你动心了~应该是我想太多了啦！哈哈~

现在的我没资格去保护任何女生，更没资格得到任何女生的芳心。。。无论如何。。。很高兴又能再和你谈天。

有你真好 :3