Talk is cheap... nope, it's free.

Is it a trend or is it an integral part of our life...? Talk is cheaper than ever in our current society. Empty promises everywhere, people with gazillion friends on their facebook, kids who would sms any stranger online. And by kids, it's really Secondary school kids.

I did understand how internet has changed how people communicate and interact with each other, but I would never expect it to be of such extent.

It isn't that people stopped communicating with each other in real life anymore, but how much of them are "digestible"? Be it colleagues, schoolmates, friends, or even "close" friends, this phenomenon seemed bent to stay. Scary isn’t enough to describe what I have experienced.

Colleagues, who may look friendly, often over-promise on a personal level. They would talk about how they will help in whatever you do, but often than not, they were the last you would see when the time come.

Schoolmates, who often talk about how good we were, how fabulous the time we had back when we were in school. I should have gotten the hint, BACK WHEN WE WERE IN SCHOOL. There was this particular guy, who would never fail to act friendly. Lots of promises and sweet-nothing, but action of none. It wasn’t once, twice or even thrice. For a year plus, I’ve been enduring with his constant say-and-do-nothing, till recently, I decided to give up on him. It wasn’t an easy decision, but enough is enough. I’ve been bulling myself for long enough, telling myself that he might just be too forgetful, to an extent where he is immune to any reminders.

In our current society, friends, should never be taken seriously. This has always been my stand for the past few years and it saved me a lot of disappointments. With facebook on a rampage, this has never been more practical. If you’re thinking, “who the hell in the world will want to make friends with a guy who don’t even take his friends seriously?”, FCUK YOU. You’re most probably one of the ignorant bastards who go around acting you’re all cool with everyone. Ever wonder why is there a spike in suicide and depression cases? All thanks to the disappointments brought by assholes who wouldn’t keep their mouths shut. And even with the use of a few not-so-presentable words, it’s still an understatement. Talk is FREE, period.

And there you have, the cream of the crop, your close friends. The occurrence of bullshiating isn’t significant as compared to FRIENDS. And if your CLOSE friend is bullshiating you a lot, most probably you should redefine “CLOSE”. In all honesty, close friends do not really have to be those who can help you in any situation. I have close friends who are perfectly “useless” in any kind of situation. But the fact that, they are more than willing to help you out despite being of no help is enough. Close friends, are the kind of people whom you are willing to lend a listening ear to and be able to advice without fear of being impolite.

And last but not least, those whom you thought were your close friends. For me, these are often the people whom I met under special circumstances, mostly online. It isn’t easy to find someone whom you can hit it off, especially online. More often than not, you’d get problem kids or attitude brats. There are also desperados, who are good at disguising their agenda, but not beyond the 2^nd hour of chatting.

So whenever I found someone whom I can hit it off beyond the 2^nd hour of chatting, he/she would automatically be promoted to “friend”. I would then put in effort, to see if he/she could be more than just a friend. That is because; friend is no more than someone whom you can talk to, with the expectation that he/she is speaking without bearing any responsibility.

That was when I began to harbor expectation. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

Not long ago, I just lost what I thought to be a close friend. Till now, I’m still unsure if it was my stupidity or my ignorance that landed me in such a sorry state. Did I believe in something that was non-existence to start with? Or did I do something that broke it? Endless possibilities running through my head, but there was only one result. All I can do now, is to believe that, we once had a close bond, but was broken with my own hands… If I have to be called naïve, so be it. I would rather believe that the memories were real than to embrace the possibility that it was just a façade…

My sentences are fragmented, points scrambling all over the place. I’m deeply affected by what just happened. I hope I can get over it soon… Perhaps, work is the only thing that I can trust now.