DuHz! stop acting pai kia!

although its late at night now, i can't seem to sleep. an earlier incident seesm to bother me quite a big deal. the incident is as followed.

as usual, i was on the way to booking in back to camp. as i reached the bus-stop and sat down, i saw a group of 10++ young kids at the opposite bus stop. the reason why they caught my attention was that they were talking very loudly, and the sheer number of the group makes it hard to be missed. a few mins later, a lady walked past the bust stop where they were at. several of them walked up to her and attempted to surround her. 'WhAt tHe FuCk!?' was the first thing that ran through my mind. 'xiao jie, yao bu yao zuo peng you?'. you thought that this sentence will only appear on the subtitle of an old school movie. somehow, they managed to squeeze it out of their mouth. their second attempt to round her succeeded. i felt like going over and beat the hell out of them. luckily, my critical thinking quickly dismissed that option as i will certainly be outnumbered. i was about to call the police, but the lady managed to break free and move on. the boys then shouted from afar, which i can't really quite make out what they were saying. atrocious, horrible. this actually happened right before my eyes. the helplessness that set in sent me fuming. this time nothing destructive took place. but what about the next time? i was thinking to myself, if i have 4 friends with me at that moment, we will be beating the hell out of those son of biatches. to the parents of those bastards whom i am talking about, whats wrong with you all? what happened to all the upbringing? can't even control your sons? or do you condone your son's doing? what a disgrace to the society. i hate the feeling of helplessness. that explains why i am a daredevil and a huge risk taker. but i alone can do nuts in some situations. this is one good example. i need friends who have the guts i have. the ability to stand up when something goes wrong. i have 0 tolerance for people who are cowardly and untrustworthy. hopefully i am able to make more frens who are daring and loyal. till now, these people are rare breed.

what we want

sometimes i really wonder does everyone really knows each other? girls want guys to give them attention and care for them. but ain't guys human too? my friend and i had a talk on wednesday night. we talked through the night till 2am and it ended when it started to rain. by the way, we were in camp, lolx. there was one particular part of the conversation that i remember very clearly. he talked about his ex-girlfriend, how he care for her, how he willingly spend his money on her despite leaving close to no money for himself. the kind of effort he put into the relationship was unbelievable. it was beyond words. but she left him after 1+ years. the reason she gave was weird and irrational. for all he gave her, he got nothing in return. he thought he had found himself a 'wife'. he told me that all he wanted was a listening ear and someone who can care for him too. he was willing to give up everything to protect her, care for her... all he asked in return is as simple as that. why doesn't girls understand that? i only want someone who can be by my side, able to care for me... issit too big a request? bahz...

A Fatal Blow

in regard to the content i wrote in friendster recently, i might have overreacted, but that is what i truely feel at that moment. an unfateful event that caused me to have such terrible feelings. come to think of it, maybe not every girls is like this. it was very wrong of me to discriminate against everyone due to the few encounters i had. i apologize for that, but my attitude has no doubt changed. one has to be truthful, no matter to ownself or to others. its a trait that i am proud of, despite the fact that it often poses a problem to me for being so straightforward.

a plan, to give her a birthday surprise which turned sour. i took at least 1 week to prepare for it. i even planned it 3 weeks ago. not knowing her birthday date, her address, i tried ways to get them from her without arousing her suspicion. each and every of the ideas came originally from me. in fact till now before i poste this, none knew of what happened and what i did. it was intended as a surprise that i hope to put all my effort in it and not ask any help from others in planning it. i was very sincere and serious in making it happens. high hopes and high expectations you can say. looking from the testimonials her fren gave her, i got to know more about her and i decided to give her a present that was supposedly what she likes. till this day, i am still not sure if it is. the real preparation started 1 week before her birthday. and to my horror, that week was the busiest week i had, not including the preparation itself. i was bombarded with tons of work and time was a limiting factor. i even picked up 'origami' from one of my friends, though all he knew was folding 'heart shape'. duhz. on that very night, i started folding them, trying out all sorts of ways to make it looks better. i taped each and every part, from the biggest to the smallest, with double sided tape and it was really quite a chore. in fact i made 15 of them but soon realised that i did not need that many. the rest was history till the very day itself. i had to attend a parade early in the morning and the list of activities just went on for the rest of the day till 5pm. alot of possibilities went through my mind. the tiredness, the lousy weather and the timing, every single thing went against me. despite several hesitations, i still made up my mind and was determined to give it a shot. a few days ago she told me that she injured herself on the leg and i thought medication and bandages would be nice. and of course the birthday cake wasn't neglected. all the shoppings were done at 9pm. i sms-ed her to start a chat so as not to give it away and for me to know when she will be back home. it was till 11pm that she told me she was heading back home. upon knowing that, i quickly get changed and rushed down to the bus stop and took a cab down. it was raining very heavily and i made do without an umbrella. you can imagine how wet i was upon reaching there. even the aircon in the cab couldn't dry my dripping shirt. upon reaching the destination, the taxi stopped right in front of her. the coincidence shocked me and i quickly lowered my head and asked the taxi driver to travel another bus stop ahead. in the end i walked back to the intended place after making sure she left the place. i continued sms-ing her to make sure she is back home, but suddenly she stopped replying. the last msg i sent her was asking if she had returned home. i waited like a fool from 11:30pm to 12:10am. the reply never came. i was at a loss, heartbroken with the fact that she doesn't even bothered to reply back. i went to the block near her house, placed the present, the cake, the medication in an area near the marble seats. sent her a msg telling her that the stuff were placed there and wished her a happy birthday. only then, she replied. she bombarded me with doubts over the credibility of my words. i felt tired... by the time she went to take the stuff, i was already on a midnight cab home. my efforts and sincerity (i even practise singing a birthday song for her. ok its dumb, but i did that anyway) went down the drain. i endured a sleepless night, a terrible one...