sNorEeEpi~

真的很感动！

2012-02-08T00:37:00.002+08:00

虽然我们冷战了那么久，当再一次说话的时候，你还是那么的热情。至少我还是看得出那是真诚的表现。尽管我显示多么的不在乎，你还是蛮在乎我的喔。这令我真的真的很感动~

有可能是因为你那“损友”恶作剧的关系，我们才会再一次的相遇吧~

真没想到我把你删了好友，你还是在那天“偷看”了我的脸书！又是问这个，又是问那个的，让我觉得。。。得到关心的感觉真好！更不可思议的是，连我在脸书求要的 financial calculator，你也主动地伸出援手。你几时变得那么的体贴啊！！！

和你回家的那一晚，我竟然 shi1 sheng1 了。想到哪去？？？是失声啊！无法正常的与你哈拉，感觉好难受。你一直担心我没办法和德士司机沟通，硬要走远路先让我到家。幸好在我的坚持下，你也乖乖的接受了“男孩应该送女孩回家”。不是绅士啦，只是怕那么晚了，不想让你太晚回家太累了。都加班了一整晚，我挺得住，你未必行啊 (:

也许你不知道吧，我总觉得没得到过你对我的关心。这也就是我们起争执的原因吧。只是这几天的你，实在是让人刮目相看了。可以说。。。我受宠若惊了！有那么一刹那，我对你动心了~应该是我想太多了啦！哈哈~

现在的我没资格去保护任何女生，更没资格得到任何女生的芳心。。。无论如何。。。很高兴又能再和你谈天。

有你真好 :3

To be or not to be?

2012-01-31T21:16:00.004+08:00

Should I continue to be myself or should I be someone that is like everyone else?

Practice makes perfect. When you have done something repeatedly forever, it becomes part of you and just comes naturally.

I've been through a lot since young, due to the fact that I came from an incomplete family. Thanks to that, I have the authority to make my own decisions, and eventually realize that this world is full of deceits. Having conned twice by "friends", $6k wasn't a small sum of money back then. I came from a poor family, therefore it was through scrimp and save that I managed to muster up that kind of money. This further reinforced the importance of trust and honesty in my life.

As we grew older, we are more exposed to temptations. Most, if not all, of us have succumbed to temptations. The only difference is how deeply are we sucked into it. Spending big money on myself has never been an option since young. But still, the sense of achievement gotten from breeding has made me invest quite a sum in my aquarium.

Despite that, I've stuck to my principles faithfully. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Based on how much I value trust and honesty, I would almost never do anything that would deviate from my values. But at the same time, this has caused me a lot of problems.

I would expect the same from people around me. To err is human. I would try my best to forgive and forget. But as mentioned earlier, most people would have developed habitual characteristics by now.

Who doesn't like to hear sweet nothing? When one is facing problem, what he/she wants to hear will most probably be how he/she is not at fault and how others are the cause of his/her problem.

Any person who tell you that it's your fault and how you can change to make things better, is most probably going to be on your hate list for quite some time.

The truth is that, people have evolved into something that can't readily accept the truth. Back to the times where our great-grandparents were still around, everyone would be more than willing to accept advice and criticism. This is because, that is the only way they can improve and survive! It was a fight for survival back then.

But now, we have become a monster of our own. There isn't a dire need for survival. Survival is already a non-issue in our current society. We have complained more than ever about how we couldn't afford a car or how we couldn't afford more of that branded goods on the shelf. We lost the motivation to improve ourselves and deteriorated into self-patting beings. We would expect everything from others and yet expect others to expect nothing from us! This is what we have become.

One would expect you to be less whiny while he/she would complain at every opportunity. One would expect you to be nice to them while he/she treat you otherwise. One would expect you to do everything for him/her, yet do nothing for you.

"You shouldn't expect something in return for everything you do!"

It means that I can't be bothered to entertain you, but I still expect you to fulfill all my wishes regardless.

"What you see is what you get. Take it or leave it."

A way to say, I'll continue treating you like shiat. If you want to continue talking to me, you have got to treat me nicely. If you're going to treat me like shiat too, then fcuk off.

What ever happened to equality? Aren't we taught that we have to work for what we want?

When someone starts talking about trust, honesty and integrity, everyone would agree that those are the most important values on Earth. But have any one of you wondered, if everyone agreed that those are the most important values ever, then where did all those backstabbers and liars come from?

Most of us have developed a trait that is capable of assuming any positive trait to be ours, without necessarily possessing them.

Behind the computer screen, everyone will talk about their SOB stories and how they have been mistreated, blah blah blah. Hardly will they talk about their shortcomings. What's even scarier, is that people will tend to "share" others' traits on the internet. It's easy to say "me too!" when another person is narrating an experience displaying his/her positive traits.

The world has never been crazier since the beginning of the internet age. The worth of trust and honesty has plummeted to that of a causal talk.

It makes me wonder... should I stick to my principles or join the self-deceiving hoard...

Bo jio?

2012-01-26T23:17:00.003+08:00

*If your sense of humor isn't as low as mine, do skip to the end for a better read (: *

You know hor, when you grow older, everyone also busy this busy that. Everybody work work work, bobian. Last time, midnight play soccer also need to take turn, cos too many people. But now, jio eat rice also hard.

Why leh?

Must be too busy working lor.

O rly?

When I was young hor, we see who missing from the outing, we will say, "wa lao eh, kelian leh him/her. Confirm is mother no let out lor."

But now hor, your mother still will control you go out no go out meh? Cannot be lar hor?

Last time, aiyoyo lao shi sibei hot sia. Liang xi mei also sibei hot sia. People call it what ar... Trend! Yar, trend!

Recently got a trend leh. My friends and I go out hor, then will have a lot of people keep saying, "Bo jio!". Damn paiseh sia, we go out, no jio them, not brother enough. Nevermind. Limpei's fault, cos i not brother enough. NEXT TIME! Limpei confirm guarantee chop jio you.

NEXT TIME come liao. Limpei jio you liao. But hor, you always bue sai make it leh! Sometimes is you already got activities. Sometimes is your friend last minute jio you. Sometimes is your sister give birth. Sometimes is your dog diarrhea.

Understandable lar!

1 time. 2 times. N times. How come always cannot one? Not enough people also a reason. Waaa, bue gum leh!! I never jio you, you say i bo jio. Limpei jio you, you knn sibei zuay excuse.

Limpei look like PIMP to you ar??? Invite you to our small gathering, you kpkb so few people. Don't need do anything then the outing will grow people out ar?? Nabei, you want zhar bor then ownself find lar. Do I look like human trafficker to you??

Wa lao eh, you also zi dong a bit lar. Mouth don't be so jian, talk talk talk den no action. Say this say that, in the end one pile of shiat come out. Limpei is talk loyalty, integrity and honesty 1. You don't have, then siam far far lar. Knn mouth keep running, you bue sian limpei also sian lar. Bo jio bo jio. Jio liao say not enough people. Still got all sort of cock stories. You think I primary school ar? Cannot differentiate is it? Nabei, eat so big liao, still so childish. Don't want den say don't want, act gu niang give so much crap. Be a man, do the right thing lor. Russell Peters also like that say lor.

This kind of people, how to trust?? Imagine limpei one day accident, need blood transfusion:

In the hospital...

Phua bei kia A: "Eh, you also here ar?"

Phua bei kia B: "Yar lor. He kana knocked down also bo jio."

Phua bei kia A: "So you going to donate blood to him or not?"

Phua bei kia B: "Dunno leh. Got how many people ar?"

Phua bei kia A: "3 only leh i think."

Phua bei kia B: "Huh? Only 3 ar?? Aiyo... then I think I don't want donate liao lar..."

Wa lao ehhhh, yao siu lor like that. I think I better go prepare a few more bags of blood in my fridge liao. Mai tu liao!!!

===================================================================

Everything written above is based on a real-life experience and is supposedly being portrayed in a comical way. I honestly don't feel angry with these people, but instead, feel disappointed and to a certain extent, pitiful for them.

I'm someone who takes promises very seriously. I can joke and fool around in casual situations, but when it comes to promises, I am dedicated to fulfilling them. Maybe that is why I expect people to do the same too.

I seriously don't mind anyone not joining upon invited. It's not as if our outing will be less fun without that particular person. It was out of respect and courtesy that we asked.

Maybe me and my friends have judged them wrongly, so if you're interested, you can develop your own view on the character mentioned below.

Character A

He would always say, "Go XXX leh". Yes, I used ALWAYS. He would also promised to organize some activities, which 98% of the times, ended up with nothing. No news, no followup. There was even once when he rejected me for prawning using a lame excuse, and guess what? When me and my friends reached the prawning area, we saw him with another group of friends. And of course, his group of friends has girls, mine are all guys.

Due to the bad experiences with him, I decided to leave him out of the loop for future outings. He would then say, "Bo jio!". Fine. We tried asking him out again. Not once, but multiple times. Again, we were being played. Still, he would give all sorts of lame excuses and act as if he did nothing wrong. He would view it as, "I just wasn't available, I didn't pangseh." He even made a promise to join us for 2011 countdown, where he joined his own friends in the end because we didn't have the numbers. Or perhaps, no girls.

====================================================================

There are still a couple more of them, but I shall not waste my effort on a write-up of their deeds. What we want to say is that, inviting you isn't because you are needed, it's because we are doing it out of respect and courtesy. It's because you are there at the right place at the right time.

We are not obliged to cater for you. It's only because we treasure true friendships that we go to great length to make things happen for you.

Remember this very clearly, we do not expect anything back for what we have done for people like you.

When you are whining over a couple of dollars, we are more than glad to pay up for you.

When you are whining about the lack of participants, trust me, we are crazily looking for people without you knowing or even lifting a finger.

When you are whining about having nothing to do, we do our best, as true friends, to make sure that we cook something up just for you.

When you are whining about how boring the outing is, we behave like clowns, putting our images at risk, just to put a smile on you.

Whenever you make an excuse, we feel that our intelligence has been insulted.

Whenever you make an irresponsible remark("Bo jio"), we feel cheated.

As a human being, why would you say "Bo jio" when you don't have the intention to go in the first place? Since even after inviting you, you refused to go.

It really seems like a low-blow, a pitiful act to gain sympathy from the rest. By doing so, don't you know that you are putting us in a bad light for something that isn't our fault? Do you think that it is fun to shift your own fault to others in order to make yourself look better?

If this is how you define friendship, it's heartbreaking. True friends deserve only the truth. Truth hurts for acquaintances, but it makes the bond between true friends that much stronger.

Is this a black sheep or has Christianity turned cult-ish?

2012-01-25T00:22:00.003+08:00

Read the article on the link posted below before continuing.

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/01/23/dont-take-it-from-me-reasons-you-should-not-marry-an-unbeliever/

Upon reading this article mid-way, I was enraged. I'm a NON-JUSTINBELIEBER, as indicated by Christians from all over the world. In fact, I'm a Taoist, who can't even differentiate Buddhism from Taoist. To me, both are good, just because I love the tales involving the Deities and Generals.

Religion was never something important to me. It was often more of pleasing my mum by going through the rituals. But in every ritual, I will put my utmost respect into whatever I am doing. This is not because I am a hardcore believer, but as a human being, I am taught to be respectful to EVERYTHING.

Therefore, if I ever ever have to step into the church, I will show the same utmost respect to Jesus in the house. You might say it's no big deal, but to some Christians, it's hell of a great deal! If they ever ever have to be in a temple, they will not be able to complete the rituals as they can't make themselves bow down to the Deities.

"I shall not bow down to anyone else except for God." Oh please, what an excuse. Go to army, and tell that to my Sergeant. He will whack you upside down inside out.

If you realised, no one has a problem visiting a temple (other than perhaps Christians), but every other NON-JUSTINBELIEBER has qualms visiting a church. I shall not say why, but go figure.

Back to the topic. I was so enraged that I was about to post this on facebook.

"I don't care how many people I offend, but a big F U to the author of this article. Is xtianity a cult or what? If you can only breed among yourselves, then go build your own planet. Religion is for spreading values, not propaganda and brainwashing. Gosh."

After giving it some thoughts, I decided not to. It was socially irresponsible to post such comment publicly, as my goal isn't to BRAINWASH others into believing otherwise. I wouldn't want my selfish opinion to affect the lives of others too.

For eternity, Christianity is one of the religion that constantly discriminate against other religions. Wassup with there is no other god? Does Taoist mention that? Does Buddhism mention that? Why are 75% of the Christians I met in life (be it friends or strangers), constantly preaching about their Religion and asking us to go to their churches, hoping to see miracles.

I have seen enough miracles here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYjgeayfYPI

Derren Brown is the equivalence of Jesus in my heart. I wouldn't say every faith healer out there is a scam (although I believe 99% are), but why not see it in a logical way?

Can a deaf really turn un-deaf in a matter of seconds? A cancer patient recovering from a touch of holiness? COME ON. Your parents paid tons of money, making sure you pay attention in school. Don't you think you are letting them down?

If you are still not convinced, please go back to University or Poly, sign up for Psychology. In that course, you will be taught how human behaves and reacts, both individually or collectively.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deindividuation

Just like in a concert. 10% of the audiences started screaming. Another 15% followed. 50% of the audiences. 60%. 75%. 90%. We got an energetic crowd here. And this, generates adrenaline in everyone's body.

I'm too lazy to explain how people can feel nauseous or even faint from a touch, and if you're really a keen learner and a believer in YOURSELF(human science), you will be able to find the answers relatively fast.

To many of us, miracles just don't happen. Given a choice, I would rather believe in UFO, as my aunt caught it on camera.

If Christianity is a little less pushy, a little more tolerant of other's existence, a little less exaggerated, a little more respectful, a little less commercialized, I believe everyone will be more receptive of it.

Telling Christians that they are dumb to marry a NON-JUSTINBELIEBER? Not the wisest choice dude. Of course, unless your intention is to wage a holy war. Go figure.

HAPPY CNY!!!

2012-01-23T20:37:00.004+08:00

Heyo heyo! A brand new year with a brand new start. Not really a brand new start imo, but at least that's something which is widely accepted. A reason for everyone to clean the slate and do bad-der things in the upcoming 12 months.

So sorry sNorEeEpi, I've neglected you long enough. You've always been there when I am down, but I'm not there for you at all times :( I would love to pen down all my thoughts every now and then, but my thoughts are flooding in all of the time. By the time I have access to my computer, my emotion would have been hijacked by another thought that conveniently opened the door and let the previous thought out. It feels SOOOO GOOOOOOOOD to be able to write in proper English (not the best, but reasonably satisfying). It's been so long, and I'm back!

I've quite a few thoughts that I would like to pen down, but not at the moment. You know, I don't blog for the sake of blogging. Each and every post is a true reflection of me and my thoughts. If I have to force myself to write something out of nothing, I'd rather go rob a bank and kiss random girls on the street. Not to say that I wouldn't rob a bank or kiss random girls on the street if given the chance... but I refrain from doing that :D

I've decided to adopt a new methodology in my blogging approach. I shall pen down the issues and thoughts that I would like to talk about in the future, and when the time is right, I'll just create a new post on the topics listed previously. Given my short term memory, I hope this helps. Here goes:

1) The kind of people one attracts is determined by how he/she acts and portrays him/her-self.

2) I'm not dumb, but I love to act dumb.

3) Everyone shouts "Love me for who I am!", "If you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me.". But who exactly accepts people at their worst?

Ok~ I guessed that would be a long enough list for now. As for viewership... I'm still pondering as to whether I should make this public or not. At some point, I'm sure I will be criticizing someone that I knew. I wouldn't want to hurt his/her feelings, but at the same time, I wouldn't want someone to jump to conclusion when the post is obviously not talking about him/her!

Pros:

1) People can get a feel on my real thoughts and understand where I am coming from. It's a complex world in Zhong Ming's mind, so I have a lot of difficulty expressing all my thoughts in an orderly manner to make sense verbally.

2) Nothing but the truth. If I did something that you couldn't understand why, maybe you can find the answer here. It would be better than assuming as I guessed, most people would be too shy or intimidated to ask me directly.

Cons:

1) Taking things out of context. Self-explanatory.

2) Assuming a role in my blog post when it was never meant to be. MOST OF THE TIME, my blog post isn't targeted at anyone. If I am, it would be close to obvious to spot.

3) Expanding on point 2, I like to question ambiguity. One of the most general topic would be, why do people do XXX when they themselves don't like to be the target of XXX? Some people would be greatly offended, which isn't my intention at all.

CONCLUSION

- I shall open this up for a limited amount of time, up until I post my first CRITICALLY-OFFENSIVE post. Then we shall see whether is it appropriate to let everyone in on the darkness within me.

That's all for now, TATA~! Have a great year ahead! (I'm not approving any excuse to erase anyone's past sin xD)

I

2012-01-12T00:13:00.001+08:00

"Every day. Every minute."

"Yes. It's that way, isn't it?"

Forget it... it's too fragile...

2011-08-21T22:51:00.002+08:00

Miscommunication is a biatch... That's also why i feel uncomfortable when people don't speak their minds... Why must everyone say things they don't mean, do things they don't mean? I do understand emotional overrun can cause people to do and say things that they don't mean... but it seemed like this has extended even to normal circumstances...

When the teacher talks to the parents, "Your son is a good student, just that he might be a bit naughty at times."

When your boss tells you, "Your grading is good. If you can do XXX, you will be even better!"

Why? So as not to hurt the feelings of the other party? Or is it just a habit adopted from this deceptive, disgusting piece of junk society? The whole world is run by a few "superhuman", dictating the flow of each society from all over the world. Through deception and underhand methods, they made a name for themselves, acting all decent. Fallen legends like Madoff were those who either could not step up their games enough, or are sick of leading their crazy lives.

Generation after generation, technology advances after technology advances, people are developing and picking up things that they should not have touched in the first place... Just like how Adam should not have eaten the apple in the first place...

Why are people in the past so much happier than people in our current society? They have less, close to nothing. We have more, almost everything. You gain some, you lose some. We gained complexity, we lost simplicity. In the past, people worked together willingly for close to no benefit other than survival. Now, people complain about each other and yet drawing pay checks that can provide them with a "GOOD" life.

I'm a weirdo in my own world. The ancient guy that lives in a HDB but should rightfully belong to the cave. I always strive to be honest and straightforward, hoping to find people of the same kind... I am extremely competitive in everything i do, and that's why i hope that i can enjoy the purest kind of basic needs such as communication...

There are times where I thought i have made friends who are really pure and innocent... turns out, everything is a facade.... Being the stubborn me, i always believed that the reality isn't real... I will hang on no matter what, to prove what i have saw and seen wrong...

My ex was such a person... it took me 2 years to finally prove myself wrong... It was really heartbreaking to believe in someone, and to be betrayed times and times again...

Can i finally meet someone, regardless a guy or a girl, who shares the same ideal of communication...?

I'm officially drained.

2011-08-17T20:53:00.002+08:00

It has been a downward spiral ride all the way into the bottomless pit recently. Stress of all kinds, craziness in all forms. My sleeping problem is getting more and more serious too. I can still derive happiness from things that happened, but all of them only last for that moment. I seriously need a break. Not a break from work, but a break from life.

Talk is cheap... nope, it's free.

2011-08-15T16:22:00.001+08:00

Is it a trend or is it an integral part of our life...? Talk is cheaper than ever in our current society. Empty promises everywhere, people with gazillion friends on their facebook, kids who would sms any stranger online. And by kids, it's really Secondary school kids.

I did understand how internet has changed how people communicate and interact with each other, but I would never expect it to be of such extent.

It isn't that people stopped communicating with each other in real life anymore, but how much of them are "digestible"? Be it colleagues, schoolmates, friends, or even "close" friends, this phenomenon seemed bent to stay. Scary isn’t enough to describe what I have experienced.

Colleagues, who may look friendly, often over-promise on a personal level. They would talk about how they will help in whatever you do, but often than not, they were the last you would see when the time come.

Schoolmates, who often talk about how good we were, how fabulous the time we had back when we were in school. I should have gotten the hint, BACK WHEN WE WERE IN SCHOOL. There was this particular guy, who would never fail to act friendly. Lots of promises and sweet-nothing, but action of none. It wasn’t once, twice or even thrice. For a year plus, I’ve been enduring with his constant say-and-do-nothing, till recently, I decided to give up on him. It wasn’t an easy decision, but enough is enough. I’ve been bulling myself for long enough, telling myself that he might just be too forgetful, to an extent where he is immune to any reminders.

In our current society, friends, should never be taken seriously. This has always been my stand for the past few years and it saved me a lot of disappointments. With facebook on a rampage, this has never been more practical. If you’re thinking, “who the hell in the world will want to make friends with a guy who don’t even take his friends seriously?”, FCUK YOU. You’re most probably one of the ignorant bastards who go around acting you’re all cool with everyone. Ever wonder why is there a spike in suicide and depression cases? All thanks to the disappointments brought by assholes who wouldn’t keep their mouths shut. And even with the use of a few not-so-presentable words, it’s still an understatement. Talk is FREE, period.

And there you have, the cream of the crop, your close friends. The occurrence of bullshiating isn’t significant as compared to FRIENDS. And if your CLOSE friend is bullshiating you a lot, most probably you should redefine “CLOSE”. In all honesty, close friends do not really have to be those who can help you in any situation. I have close friends who are perfectly “useless” in any kind of situation. But the fact that, they are more than willing to help you out despite being of no help is enough. Close friends, are the kind of people whom you are willing to lend a listening ear to and be able to advice without fear of being impolite.

And last but not least, those whom you thought were your close friends. For me, these are often the people whom I met under special circumstances, mostly online. It isn’t easy to find someone whom you can hit it off, especially online. More often than not, you’d get problem kids or attitude brats. There are also desperados, who are good at disguising their agenda, but not beyond the 2^nd hour of chatting.

So whenever I found someone whom I can hit it off beyond the 2^nd hour of chatting, he/she would automatically be promoted to “friend”. I would then put in effort, to see if he/she could be more than just a friend. That is because; friend is no more than someone whom you can talk to, with the expectation that he/she is speaking without bearing any responsibility.

That was when I began to harbor expectation. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

Not long ago, I just lost what I thought to be a close friend. Till now, I’m still unsure if it was my stupidity or my ignorance that landed me in such a sorry state. Did I believe in something that was non-existence to start with? Or did I do something that broke it? Endless possibilities running through my head, but there was only one result. All I can do now, is to believe that, we once had a close bond, but was broken with my own hands… If I have to be called naïve, so be it. I would rather believe that the memories were real than to embrace the possibility that it was just a façade…

My sentences are fragmented, points scrambling all over the place. I’m deeply affected by what just happened. I hope I can get over it soon… Perhaps, work is the only thing that I can trust now.

New Year, Old Summary! :D

2011-01-02T19:20:00.005+08:00

Woohaaaa!!!! It's the start of the new year, and the end of the old year. God knows what the new year will bring us, and I'm really looking forward to it. (: Now for me to calculate my networth and see if I have performed exceptionally well financially :P

Positive
===========================
Investment:
$28,300

Repaid School Loan:
$4,000
Bank Account:
$6,700

Negative
===========================
Personal Loans:
$14,000

School Loan:
$21,000

Mama Loan:
$8,000

In total...
$28,300 + $4,000 + $6,700 - $14,000 - $21,000 - $8,000 = .......................

-$4,000!!!! GOSH!!!! I'm still in the negative =. = Oh well~! I have been working for just 6 months, and i should be glad that I've managed to make it so far. I would give 2010 a........

A- !!!!!!!! (financially)

*I have not calculated anything before this post, so this is the true reflection of myself! :P*

Hope I can keep up the good work and earn a better grade financially!!!

Now... WORK!

Landed quite a good paying job (okok, i shall drop the "quite a" to reduce flaming), have a bunch of nice colleagues and I'm having fun with my work! I guessed that is the most important part of WORK. To be happy with what you are doing and have a bunch of nicey colleagues around for you. But still... my long term goal is to land myself a job in the financial sector.

I'm always imagining myself browsing through the newspaper every morning, looking at the progress of the world, drinking my tea, giving advices in the afternoon, coming back home and have a wonderful time with my family. This is the kind of life that I'm looking for when I'm old (40?).

I personally don't want, or rather, don't require to have a good life. But to me, it is of utmost important to give the people around me, my loved ones, a good life. Life is miserable if you're the only one who is having a good life. Nobody will be able to appreciate you, nobody will be able to share your joy. So what's the point of it? Therefore, this isn't a noble cause or whatever, it's just a selfish thought of mine, an ideal situation where I can have everyone around me share my joys with me (:

Time to grade my WORK component. It will be a..........................

B!!!! Although I'm really glad with my current working life, but ultimately, it isn't something that will help me advance in my goal. Without my nice colleagues and the enjoyment that I derive from work, the grade could have been a failing grade.

Now for the last component to make a life whole... LOVE (family?).

Nothing much to talk about I guess. I've always wanted and treated my relationship seriously, hoping that it could eventually develop into a family kind of thing. I want a long-term relationship, not a short one. Regardless of whether my partner is the right or wrong one for me, I feel the need to make things right and move on from there. You can't find your ideal partner anywhere. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, no one is perfect. The only thing that is required from both parties is to believe that all they need is one another. If this consensus can't be reached, most probably nothing good is going to come out of it, no matter how close to perfect the 2 persons are. I'm definitely NOT close to being perfect and I wouldn't expect my partner to be.

I would give my love life a.......................
C-. Even though I have not achieve anything to improve the chances of forming a family this year, but I have learned a lot of things from her. I'm truly grateful that I've met her, which in turn taught me a lot of things in life.

====================================================================

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
=========================
1) Earn my first $100,000 by the end of 2011!!!

2) Land myself a job that will propel me towards my goal!!!

3) Make up for all the damages that I've done in the past. Be it child-ignorance or plain-retardedness on my part, I've hurt people directly or indirectly since the day I was born. I'm really sincere in mending the worthy relationships and will work hard towards that. (Relationships in this case refers to friendships mostly. Nothing lovey-dovey included.)

4) Find out who is my Mrs Right and hopefully, gain her recognition. I'm still struggling as to, whether should I keep looking for her, or is she someone that I've already knew. In life, I've met a great deal of amazing girls. Some of them were brimming with attractive traits (filial, loyal, non-extravagant, so on), some were just super nice to me. I've screwed up in many stages of my life, hopefully I will be able to make it right this time. :D

5) Book a nice oversea trip and enjoy!!!

I shall keep my New Year Resolutions attainable(hmmm (1) and (2) seems tough >. <~). Good luck to everyone (I hope you guys do not have to rely on it though :D) and all the best!!!

感伤的夜晚

2010-01-23T04:55:00.004+08:00

寂寞的夜晚都会让人多多少少有一点点的感伤。对于现况不满的我，真的好想大哭一场。男人有泪不轻弹，到底是那位“伟大”人物所捏造出来的。号称“多情”男子的我，三不五时都会emo一下下。请别误会我，我所谓的“多情”是指很多感情，容易产生情绪上的变化。就拿台湾偶像剧来说吧。看完了通常我都会哭的稀里哗啦，可有些人却毫无感受。

现在对我来说，能哭是福啊。等到哪一天想哭都哭不出来，那才真的是悲哀。。。就像我现在这样，无论怎么挤，眼泪就是不肯出来。。。不知道是为何，心里就是不好受。从以前到现在，唯一没改变的就是对自己的期望太高。

刚和我的bros们来了个HTHT(Heart To Heart Talk)，谈了许多心事。谈工作，谈友情，谈未来，谈过去，谈看似永远都做不完的FYP，有所不谈。有些人觉得我话不多，有些人觉得我太多话，对于这点我只能说，认识我久了自然而然会对我有不同的看法吧。就象我的Cheng bro，从 year 1 就“听”我不爽。“这人怎么废话那么多，真惹人厌” 这大概就是他对我的想法吧。时间久了，我们的互动多了，磨擦也渐渐的增加。好几次都对彼此不爽。天晓得，我们现在竟成了非常要好的兄弟。以前能聊的话题不多，现在只要是经过脑子的事都能拿来讨论。Cheewee bro, Hock Seng bro也成为了我迈向肌肉男孩的助力！我们三剑客不惜一切，努力冲gym！

除了未来工作还“债”的问题，感情方面也让我相当的苦恼。最近疯“海派甜心”，所以有机会听到罗志祥的歌。“爱不单行”这首歌似乎说出了我的心声。

“找不到人说心里的寂寞
找不到人怕黑的折磨
找不到命中注定在一起的那个人”

“爱
只有简单笔画
却比想象复杂
恨安定爱变化
我爱过几个人
也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下”

“爱
是不可数的吗
为何我还相信
他不是独行侠
我在等一个人
在等我的永恒
告诉我爱不单行别害怕”

说真的，我也说不上为何会那么的执着喜欢上一个曾经伤害过我的人。说穿了，就是和她在一起的感觉吧。那种感觉是朋友所不能给的。也许这份感觉远远的比不上任何一份友谊来的完美，可是也就是因为这样，这份感觉才独特，变得有价值。许多朋友知道了背后的故事都劝我不要对这份感情太在意。就算是玩玩的也没人会怪我。别放太多感情，最后又搞得自己伤痕累累。这些都是朋友们给我的建议。道理上朋友们说的并没错，可是我还是忍不住的袒护她。在我心中，她真的没那么糟。经不起诱惑是人人都会经历过的吧。

常怪我话不多。。。可当我需要有人吐心事时，对象往往都不是她。只知道她永远都是那么的忙。想更深入的了解她的心事是那么的艰难。

也许是我高攀不上她，我们渐渐的又离对方越来越远。对我来说，我们的互动超越了简单的友谊，可对她来说却没所谓。每一次都说着谈恋爱好麻烦，好累人，却还是一直用恋爱的法则束缚我。。。有时我也搞不清是我把这份感情看的太重，还是她把这份感情看的太轻。厌倦了。烦死人。这些都是我最近得到的回应。那么的信任她，却被她怀疑我对她的信任不深。无语了。多么的不舍，该放手吗？我不想，可她却好像无所谓。只想得到一份肯定的我始终还是等不到。

想哭但是哭不出来的感觉不好受。心里的难受不知要向谁诉说。心里根本都下着倾盆大雨却还要带着笑嘻嘻的面孔。多亏有许多哥儿们陪伴着我，许多好友给我的关心。哪怕只是一句简单的“怎么了？”，对我来说那是非常大的安慰。我不需要千言万语，百般承诺，往往要的只是一点点的关心。。。

回家的路途遥远，明天（4个钟头后）就要回去了。我的好roomie Yonghua 将会陪着我。真是受宠若惊 =) 到了家里好好地沉淀一下，把思绪重整一下，再次出发。我要的不是伪装成爱情的友情，而是真正能让彼此幸福的爱情。我会努力做好最后的冲刺，幸福掌握在自己的手中。

A simple life would be good =)

2009-09-17T00:16:00.002+08:00

People dreamed of living in mansions, swimming in their very own pools with a handful of maids always at their service. That is the dream of many and the exact materialization of few. For me, nah, just a simple life would do. =)

Where i am now, is what i feel most comfortable with now. Not too comfortable, but it's enough to keep me content for the moment. Having a CGPA of 4.41, it just seemed too hard for me to pit myself against the colossus barrier barring me from a first-class honor. Identically, it is numerically impossible to bring me down any lower than where i am now, a second-class upper honor. Thinking back, i came into university with horrible grades and intended to just get myself further with no high hopes. But here i am now, an ex-first-class-honor student, happily looking at what i have in life. A second upper should suffice for anything. Just about anything. There are so many people fighting like hell to just get a smell of second-class-lower, while some are struggling endlessly to reach the next level (second class upper). I must say i'm blessed. Thanks to my mum who did not stop me from going university. She gave me the choice to either start working or go university. I'm glad i was born with farsight and ambition, which lands me where i am now.

Financially, it was never good for me since i was born. I was put into a poor family and things did not change even till now. Being single parent did not help with money matters. The monthly house instalments are burden beasts. That is why i tried all means to earn money. Buy-and-sell (power ranger stickers, can you believe it? loL~!), soccer betting, book-keeping (bookieeee, a failed one) and many other more. Nothing worked out, but luckily for me, i'm a thrifty guy. By that, i don't mean i'm selfish. In fact, there is quite a sum of money that i have lent out to my friends and never got them back. There are times when i treat my friends to things too. All these come from the spare money i usually saved by going for the cheaper stuffs, be it clothings or food. Sometimes it makes me wonder, am i spending more on others than on myself? loL~!!! Nevertheless, the hunt for money never cease. In recent times, i was introduced to stock. Hell of a ride i must say. When i first played with the stock, i was already burned within a week. My SG$7k was reduced to a worth of around SG$5k. The horror keeps continuing and eventually i hit a whooping SG$3.3k. That is when i decided it's time to let go of the losses and start anew. Throughout this chain of events, i even borrowed $400 from my mum. She knew what happened, but did not say much. Normally, she would nag non-stop at me for small things, but this time, she did not. I did not know why, even now, but i feel that she had faith in me. With the SG$3.3k, it was an enduring period for me. There were days where i spent $0, scraping whatever food i can find in the room. Normal days would only allow me a meal not more than $2.50, supposedly lasting for the whole day. This lasted for at least 2 weeks. Somehow, my mum noticed my loss in weight and put 2 $50 notes into my wallet. Right now, i'm in a slight positive after recovering my losses. Thanks to my mum once again for being so supportive. =)

As for love... nothing much to talk about, still looking around. Money speaks alot in most cases, not because the girl is materialistic or what, but there are bound to be expenses during a date. Flowers, gifts, meals, wooosh~ Sometimes i wonder, should i just postpone the process of looking for one? Should i wait till i achieve a stable income? (which is one year later hooray!!!) I wonder. When i'm out in the working society, isn't it harder for me to find the girl of my liking... Sigh. When there are pros, there are bound to be cons. Nothing is perfect hur? =)

I N S O M N I A

2009-09-14T06:24:00.002+08:00

All thanks to chee wee for the sleepless night. Due credits have to be given to him for landing me in my current state.

Being a gemini, or rather a thinker that i am, it's not easy for me to just fall asleep all of a sudden. Unless i am dead beat, there is virtually NIL chance that i will knock out as soon as my head touches the pillow. There is always so much to think about, from things of great importance to trivial matters. Just about everything. The dreadful part of it is that, sometimes, fond memories that come with pain (ironic huh? It takes a wise person to figure that out. Not.) do flood my mind. And that is why i am not a great fan of memories, especially good ones. Often, the best memories you have are those that will bring you regret and agony when you reminisce. What happened in the past should be buried, at least that's what i hoped for. Well... things hardly go our way huh. Whatever.

Lying on the concrete floor, i tried all i could, without physically, mentally and verbally abusing myself, to get into sleeping mode. Push ups. Sit ups. I would even do some star jumps if not for my roomies who were sleeping soundly. Changing into every positions i can think of... i mean sleeping positions mind you, nothing helped. And not surprising, writing this piece of entry here is my futile attempt to sap my energy away. Since there is nothing i can do to fall asleep, i guessed i would have to skip one night of sleep and make it up tomorrow by sleeping slightly earlier. So... what should i do now...? Damn i'm bored. All alone here. If only there is someone i can call and talk to during this wee hour. Heh, fat hope. Hmmm... time for more bejeweled i guess.

【败犬女王】

2009-07-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

戏中里的男女主角把许多在谈恋爱有可能发生的问题都一一陈列出来了。女生啊，为何总是一气之下就说出违背心里的话。男生啊，为何总是把女生无意的嚷嚷当真，然后做出让自己后悔的事呢。女生一定会认为男生只要别小题大作就行了。男生一定会认为女生只要别意气用事就行了。是因为不够了解吗？还是缺乏体谅？本人认为都不是。再多的了解，只要女生一句无意的重话，男生必然无法招架。再多的体谅，只要男生无厘头的做出错的决定，女生必然耿耿于怀。难道女生不能想一想，整个误会都是自己口是心非所造成的吗？难道男生不能想一想，事情的演化都是自己沉不住气所造成的吗？误会是难免的，何不心平气和的一起解决呢。无论发生什么事，一定要切记，让对方知道你的想法与感受，这样，事情才能有挽回的余地。

我也开始学会了。

Well...

2009-07-05T01:29:00.002+08:00

I was wondering if i should be a bad guy... Will it help me to move on? Will i be able to move on without being the bad guy? These are the questions bugging me like a plague. Well... If i'm able to move on without being a bad guy, that will be the best. I'm still searching for the answer, but in the mean time, i will put my plans on hold. Thanks meL for the advices, even though she got the whole situation wrong. Without her advices, i guess i would have acted on impulse.

It might take some time before i can embark on a new journey in search for the perfect partner. There are a few reasons to it. Right now, i believe that i've not fully put down everything at this point of time. Even if i met the one for me, i couldn't be sure if i'm truly in love with her, or just simply treating her as a substitute. Therefore, i would rather not search for the one at the moment, as it would be extremely unfair to her and horribly irresponsible on my part. I would love to meet the one in my life under the circumstances where i truly love her with all my heart, which i doubt i can now. I need more information that will help answer my questions. Let's give it 1 more week and hopefully that will be the last week.

Saturday

2009-07-05T01:11:00.003+08:00

Ah!~ Today was supposed to be a carwash day. Due to the late night prawning, i wasn't able to wake up in time. I ended up reaching ECP at 12pm if i'm not wrong. By the time i reached, the carwash had to end due to the complaints from the officers there. Oh well. I seemed to have jinxed each and every carwash that i attended. =X

Pamela and Sarah mentioned that i have gained weight! I guessed those are compliments right? =D My face looked rounder now! At least that's what they said. =) The supplements are doing their job well, yappie!

Pamela was so sad over her IA result. Seemed like she just knew about her result today. I tried to offer as much help as possible to her, hopefully she would be less stressful and get back to her cheerful self soon. Jiayou to everyone who is currently going for the IA appeal option!

After the lunch, the 4 of us (Pearlie, Kang Le, Wei Xiang + me!) went for a movie. ICE AGE 3! It has been a long time since i watched a movie. Seriously speaking, that has to be one of the best movie i have ever watched. The voice actings were superb and the plot was built down to the details. Simply lovely i would say. I did cry a bit towards the end of the movie, as there were some touching scenes and also made me recall some of the recent past. Overall, a great movie that should be watched at least once in the cinema! =D I actually don't mind watching it the 2nd time, but it would have to be in 3-D. Pearlie wasn't able to cope with the 3-D, therefore we decided to forgo it and go for the 2-D animation. Since the movie has a very high rating in my heart, anyone who is interested to watch it in 3-D can bring me along! =)

Ahhhh, i'm so tired now, i guess i will stop here. I shan't share the KFC secret here, maybe next time =P

Prawning =D

2009-07-04T23:36:00.003+08:00

Yay! I finally had my first prawning session! $29 for 2 and a half hours, supposedly. Starting off as a beginner, i just did not know what to expect. How does it feel like when the prawn is biting? How does it feel like when you successfully hooked a prawn? I was aimlessly trying out all sorts of stupid things for 2 and a half hour before i get my FIRST prawn!!! Yup! My first prawn was a HUGE bang! After such a long time, i was finally able to feel when the prawn was really biting. With a HUGE jerk, or should i say a tug, i hooked the prawn out of the pond and up onto the roof! LOL! No joke man! The prawn did end up on the roof along with my hook! It wasn't too difficult to get the prawn down from the roof. All i did was to swing my rod in a casting motion and the prawn was finally back within my sight. The prawn must had the biggest scare of its life! HAHA!

The second one came shortly after my dear welfare partner, Geok Leng, called me.

"Harlowwww~"
"Ahhh, wait wait"
*PIAK!*
"Omg! Wait a while, you wait a while!"

I can't recall the whole thing very clearly, but above was roughly what i said over the phone. The moment i greeted her, i felt a tug in the rod which is held in my right hand. Another prawn! Due to over-excitement, i gave the rod a jerk! To my horror, the rod SNAPPED!!! I was sent into a state of panic and quickly handed my rod over to my friends, Yuen Loong and Choon Boon, to take over from there. In the midst of it, i guessed the rod somehow managed to hit one of the prawners there. He yelled, but i couldn't be bothered with him as i'm having a conversation on the phone. loL~! And so, the conversation revolving around the food for freshmen orientation camp contributed to my 2nd prawn. It was another prawn that caused a big hoo-ha! Before we left the place, i got my 3rd prawn. =)

Hm... did i not mentioned that i got my first prawn on the 2.5 hours mark? So where did the other 2 prawns came from? =D The uncle did not stop us, therefore we continued prawning. With my lucky "short" rod (it was broken due to the 2nd prawn), i managed to get my 3rd one. The whole prawning sensation lasted for 5 hours! 2.5 hours bonus! As it was too late to BBQ, Yuen Loong decided to give all the prawns to me out of genorosity, while Choon Boon left earlier to catch the last bus. In total, 8 prawns were caught in total.

I have learnt alot from the prawning experience and i believe that the next prawning session will net a double digit score for me. =D

1) When you feel that the prawn is biting, pull your string taut and jerk in an upward manner! This will hook the prawn that is biting =)
2) Use worms. Period.

Anyone wants to join me for a prawning session? =D

情歌

2009-07-04T03:18:00.000+08:00

时光是琥珀泪一滴滴被反锁
情书再不朽也磨成沙漏
青春的上游白云飞走苍狗与海鸥
闪过的念头潺潺的溜走

命运好幽默让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头反而更自由

慢动作缱绻胶卷重播默片定格一瞬间
我们在告别的演唱会说好不再见

你写给我我的第一首歌
你和我十指紧扣默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有我这一首情歌
轻轻的轻轻哼着哭着笑着
我的天长地久

命运好幽默让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头反而更自由

长镜头越拉越远越来越远事隔好几年
我们在怀念的演唱会礼貌的吻别

你写给我我的第一首歌
你和我十指紧扣默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有我这一首情歌
轻轻的轻轻哼着哭着笑着
我的天长地久

陪我唱歌清唱你的情歌
舍不得短短副歌心还热着
也该告一段落
还好我有我下一首情歌
生命宛如静静的相拥的河
永远天长地久

孤枕难眠

2009-07-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

能够与我聊聊天，谈谈心事的都已经睡了。唯独我一个人看着偶像剧。迫不及待八月一号的到来。那时候的我，就不需独自扛着那么多包袱了。又会是一个难眠的夜晚。不晓得明天钓虾会不会钓一钓就掉进池塘里去了。

Cheers To Us!

2009-07-02T14:34:00.002+08:00

To Wh, who has gone through alot and to myself too =)

你走了太久一定很累
她错了不该你来面对
离开她就好就算了心情很干脆

她其实没有那么绝对
远一点你就看出真伪
离开她不等于你的世界会崩溃
转个弯你还能飞

就别再为她流泪
别再让她操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
她不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉
以后管她是谁

每段感情都非常珍贵
她的好你就放在心扉
记得有个人曾让你那样的心醉

你笑了照亮夜幕的黑
什么梦都不比你的美
多少年以后想起她还有些体会
那些你已无所谓

Jiayou ba! 下一个绝对更好！=)

Silence...

2009-07-01T20:28:00.002+08:00

Feeling so tired recently. I guess it must be the time of the year where i feel the desire to lead a simple life. Keeping up with everything proves to be very exhausting and challenging. It seems like the floodgate has been opened and the problems are coming in one after another, with none being fully resolved. I'm so totally drained, mentally and physically. It's like no amount of food can satisfy me physically, and no amount of encouragement can support me mentally. This is a time when i need people who can provide me with the tranquilizing feel. I seriously need to relax and put down everything on my mind now. Taking things slowly will definitely help me at the moment. Hanging out with people who can put a smile on my face without much words is especially gratifying. I need silence... a kind of silence that can put my mind at ease... a kind of silence that can pacify me... a kind of silence that allows me to feel like i'm a kid... There is much restoration to be done... but i promise i'll be back at 110% after i get the peace which i yearned for...

Busy

2009-07-01T11:49:00.001+08:00

Going to be very busy for the next few days trying to resolve my IA result issue. Might not even have the mood for any other things at the moment. So many issues on my mind now, sigh. That's all for now.

思考思考

2009-06-30T01:32:00.002+08:00

达成现在所要的，追求未来必要的，到底哪一个比较重要，比较切实际？嗯。。。这也应该是为什么我那么执着为未来打算吧。这也应该是为什么我的哥儿们是我的哥儿们吧。拥有着一样的信念，奋不顾身的为自认为最有益的抱负而冲刺吧！！！

感人

2009-06-29T23:52:00.000+08:00

无意的看到了这篇文章，心里怪别扭的。大家看看吧。

=====================================================================
吵架之後,如果對方打你手機,一定要接！吵架之後,如果對方打你手機,一定要接！！！
有那麼一對情侶.女孩很漂亮,非常善解人意,偶爾時不時出些壞點子耍耍男孩.男孩很聰明,也很懂事,最主要的一點.幽默感很強.總能在2個人相處中找到可以逗女孩發笑的方式.女孩很喜歡男孩這種樂天派的心情.

他們一直相處不錯,女孩對男孩的感覺,淡淡的,說男孩像自己的親人.

男孩對女孩愛甚深,非常非常在乎她.所以每當吵架的時候,男孩都會說是自己不好,自己的錯.即使有時候真的不怪他的時候,他也這麼說.他不想讓女孩生氣.就這樣過了5年,男孩仍然非常愛女孩,像當初一樣.

有一個週末,女孩出門辦事,男孩本來打算去找女孩,但是一聽說她有事,就打消了這個念頭.他在家裡呆了一天,他沒有聯繫女孩,他覺得女孩一直在忙,自己不好去打擾他.

誰知女孩在忙的時候,還想著男孩,可是一天沒有接到男孩的消息,她很生氣.晚上回家後,發了條信息給男孩,話說得很重.甚至提到了分手.當時是晚上12點.

男孩心急如焚,打女孩手機,連續打了3次,都給掛斷了.打家裡電話沒人接,猜想是女孩把電話線拔了.男孩抓起?蝒A就出門了,他要去女孩家.當時是12點25.女孩在12點40的時候又接到了男孩的電話,從手機打來的,她又給掛斷了.

一夜無話.男孩沒有再給女孩打電話.第2天,女孩接到男孩母親的電話,電話那邊聲淚俱下.男孩昨晚出了車禍.警方說是車速過快導致剎車不急,撞到了一輛壞在半路的大貨車.救護車到的時候,人已經不行了.

女孩心痛到哭不出來,可是再後悔也沒有用了.她只能從點滴的回憶中來懷念男孩帶給她的歡樂和幸福.

女孩強忍悲痛來到了事故車停車場,她想看看男孩呆過的最後的地方.車已經撞得完全不成樣子.方向盤上,儀表盤上,還沾有男孩的血跡.

男孩的母親把男孩當時身上的遺物給了女孩,錢包,手錶,還有那部沾滿了男孩鮮血的手機.女孩翻開錢包,裡面有她的照片,血漬浸透了大半張.

當女孩拿起男孩的手錶的時候,赫然發現,手錶的指針停在12點35分附近.女孩瞬間明白了,男孩在出事後還用最後一絲力氣給她打電話,而她自己卻因為還在堵氣沒有接.男孩再也沒有力氣去撥第2遍電話了,他帶著對女孩的無限眷戀和內疚走了.

女孩永遠不知道,男孩想和她說的最後一句話是什麼.女孩也明??不會再有人會比這個男孩,更愛她了！

人吵架的時候，什麼最重要？
驕傲？
自尊？
面子？
輸贏？
這些其實都不重要

最重要的仍然是你心愛的那個人~
最重要的仍然是你們這份得來不易的感情~

本來在愛情裡，不管是爭執或衝突，
只要最後能協調、能化解就好了，哪有什麼贏者或輸家
真要爭誰贏誰輸，誰有面子誰又低聲下氣，
最後賠上的只是這份感情，誰也沒贏
~~實際上是兩敗俱傷~~
有沒有想過，爭吵的目的是為什麼？
其實不是單純的為了道理講理，
而是對方不肯讓你，男生女生亦然，

因此爭吵到了最後其實早已偏離主題，而是為了賭一口氣。
好大的一口氣，代價不貲。
和好的時候，才體認出那些，
淚也白流了，氣也白生了，是何必？還是活該？

India & Bangladesh

2009-06-29T17:53:00.003+08:00

Ahhh, after reading a report on Yahoo! News, a question popped up in my mind. Is Bangladesh part of India? I turned to my colleague for an answer, and his reply was a definite "NO". "Not same color means same country leh!", this was his reply. O. O Just to clarify, this comment was not made based on any form of stereotyping, but it's just another reaction that took place when people mistook a Singaporean for a Chinese in the European countries.

I decided to do a little research of my own. Viola! Bangladesh is indeed just a close neighbor of India. =) That explains why Indian barred gay sex while the Bangladeshis can still get away happily with their pinkies-holding in Singapore. I'm glad that this misconception of mine, or rather confusion, is finally being taken care of. In the past, whenever someone challenged my knowledge in regards to this matter, i will begin to hesitate and might be swayed to think that Bangladesh is part of India. Not now =)

silent de meh meh

2009-06-29T15:00:00.004+08:00

Recently there has been a craze in the office started by me. Not really a craze, but something that is shared between a few of us guys. HEH. After the facebook incident, i initiated the trend of associating my feelings with a particular song. It didn't take too long for that song to be used in many other situations. The wonderful thing is that... it really does apply to many of those situations! Haha! Enjoy! =)

当别人误解我的时候
我总是沈默
沈默对我来说其实是一种反驳
当世界遗忘我的时候
我一个人过
幸福对我来说其实是一种传说
当敌人越来越多
朋友都离开我
当爱情变成一种负担却无法解脱
我不是沈默的羔羊
我有话要讲
给我一点酒
让我有勇气
向你吐露我的悲伤
我不是沈默的羔羊
我也有梦想
当明天太阳升起
照在我的脸上
我一样能散发光芒
羔羊也会怒吼
沉默是一种力量
你是不是和我一样
在现实中学会坚强

【败犬女王】经典词句

2009-06-28T21:35:00.008+08:00

八岁的差距我们可以一起弥补啊
你可以为了我继续穿迷你裙
我可以为了你穿西装打领带
我们可以一起看你爱看的外国电影
你可以陪我一起看我爱看的热血漫画
只要我们在一起就都OK啦
如果累了没车我可以背你回家
如果你心情不好我可以陪你上天台看星星
没有金钱堆砌的恋爱也不见得不浪漫啊
这样因为感觉单纯的在一起难道不可以吗
================================================
对我是喜欢无双
可是喜欢一个人
不能用这么卑劣的手段把她留在你身边啊
不能让她继续活在谎言里嘛
================================================
根据英国科学研究
老鼠成天看着一块自己吃不到的cheese
两天就发疯了耶
================================================
你是有完没完啊
差八岁这件事情
从我们认识第一天讲到现在
是怎样没新梗吗
================================================
你现在叫我是为什么
是想要告诉我
你突然改变主意
打算要跟我在一起
你是要告诉我
我想要听到的答案吗
如果不是
那就不必了
我现在如果转过头来
我真的不知道会对你做出些什么事情
除非你心里准备好要接受我
或是你准备好要跟我在一起
不然你不要来招惹我
================================================
这是我最后一次帮你了
对了别忘了我是万能的打工达人
不过下次找我要收费咯
拜拜
================================================
你干嘛
你想当媒人是不是
你不要自己不要我
就随便把我推给别人好不好
我有那么悲惨吗
我不要你这种随便施舍的同情
我最讨厌你这种自己已经得到幸福了
就随便帮人家撮合姻缘的人
你到底知不知道这是大忌啊
你到底懂不懂什么是谈恋爱
================================================
就当作是帮朋友最后一个忙
for free again
================================================
卢卡斯：我看我这一辈子
都再也遇不到像你那么奇怪的女人了
无双：我大概这一辈子
也遇不到像你这种
外表看起来轻浮
可是内心有很多秘密的打工仔
================================================
现在好啦
辛辛苦苦养大的一只鳖
要送给别人煮了
老天爷
你对我还真够好的
================================================
如果可以的话
我还真的不想收留你
我是很没有义气啊
不过这是实话耶
你这个人实在是太贼了
搬到我家里面就算了
你还搬到我心里来
================================================
这世界上只有三种东西掩饰不了
一个是打喷嚏
一个是爱情
一个是贫穷
================================================
卢卡斯：大姐你是想要当我女朋友
还是想要当我妈
你这么关心我
无双：一定要你的谁才可以关心你是不是
卢卡斯：对！我不想要一个路人甲关心我！
这八年的界线是你拉出来的
如果你跨过来就接受我
我现在问你
你跨不跨过来？
================================================
偶尔还是会期待那个永远不上线的人突然出现
或者是说期待那一串曾经熟悉的电话号码
再次出现在自己的手机里面
偶尔还是会想要偷偷知道他的近况
还是会想要关心他过得到底好不好
================================================
如果那个时候就知道
后来我们将会再度分开
或许我就不会踏出那道门
曾经以为我们可以证明
爱情只要两个人单纯的在一起就好
但事实是
我们把爱想得太伟大
把现实想得太简单
================================================
你知不知道企鹅
其实是一种很专情的动物
他们一旦找到对方之后
就会认定对方一辈子
交配后呢
他们就会轮流留下来孵蛋
而另外一只就会出去觅食
可是你知道吗
出去觅食的那只企鹅
很有可能被海豹吃掉
再也回不来
但被留下来那只企鹅
并不知道
他就一直在冰天雪地里面
等
等
等
等着再也回不来的另外一半
以前我觉得企鹅这种习性是很浪漫的
但学长离开我六年的时候
我才知道
被留下来的企鹅的感受
是多么孤单跟寂寞的
================================================
我的确没有发现
因为你现在已经开始痛苦了
难道你没有发现
我们现在的关系有多不安吗
我从来不回去介意别人的眼光
可是你介意
所以你才去改变你的穿着来配合我
你介意我同学对你的评价
甚至连路边一个陌生店员说的话
你也会因为这样感到不开心
================================================
为什么你老是要去担心那些不可能发生的事情呢
更何况我爱你根本不需要怀疑吗
================================================
为什么我这样做就是勉强
我就是不想出国读书嘛
我想要留在台湾
我想要留在你身边
我想要让你安心
我想要赶快开始赚钱
我想要让你过好一点的生活
我想要买得起你想要买的柜子
而不是帮你选一个柜子要这么小心翼翼的
我想要赶快成为能够让你幸福的那个男人
为什么不能让我选择我想要的付出呢
================================================
我也想要分担你的压力啊
你妈逼你结婚
你也不肯告诉我
你朋友天天问你
你也不肯对我说
如果我们两个在一起
造成你那么大的压力的话
我可以当做什么都没看见
继续天真的跟你在一起吗
我知道你有你的难处
所以我也不想造成你的负担
================================================
你在说什么
你现在是说你后悔了吗
你觉得如果当初你选的是宋允浩
而不是选择我这个小你八岁
却老是给你带来一堆麻烦的男朋友
是吗
这就是你的真心话对不对
对不对
好你终于讲出来了
我原本以为这些事情
早在你跨越那条线的时候
你就已经都知道了
我原本以为我们已经有共识
可以一起跨越所有的困难
如果你不相信我
能够陪你一起到最后
那这个戒指有什么用
================================================
对自己没有信心
就会一直怀疑对方
如果不克服自己心中的恐惧
就没有办法回复到一个平等的姿态来维系这段关系
心病还需心药医
如果对事情不要总是这么执着
那么就不会有这么多问题产生了
不只感情
在面对很多人生问题的时候也是一样
何必要庸人自扰呢
如果愿意想开
其实一秒钟就可以想开了
不是吗

梦想的追寻

2009-06-28T20:50:00.002+08:00

今天终于有机会正式的学骑脚踏车了。时光咻的一声，不知不觉就过了。真可惜，还是没能学会。成绩一个都没，伤口倒是多了好几个。屁股开花了，淤青痛的连坐下都有问题。大拇指们也都逃离不了脱皮的厄运。最可怜的该是那只右脚吧。伤痕累累就别提了，其中一道伤痕好像还蛮严重的。那样拼命到底是为了什么呢？为了满足我那毫无止境的虚荣心，还是另有牵挂？皮外伤，忍一忍就过去了。有些事，还是别说的太明比较好。该是控制饮食的时候了。我可不想一边蹲着马桶一边流泪啊！！！若是泻肚子。。。我的天啊。。。小屁屁，那就辛苦你啦！哥哥会尽可能的忍耐滴！！！

When MRT doesn't work

2009-06-28T10:42:00.001+08:00

Train not coming at a high enough frequency? Late for work? Try this =)

==========================================================

SINGAPORE: Train services along the East West MRT line were disrupted for 18 minutes on Friday at about 7.25pm.

A man jumped off the platform at Aljunied MRT station and ran along the track towards Paya Lebar Station.

A commuter activated the Emergency Stop Plunger which stopped approaching trains from entering the station.

SMRT staff combed the tracks twice but did not find the man.

Police finally arrested the man who managed to find his way down to the street below the MRT track.

The police said the Chinese man, who is in his late 40s, sustained leg injuries and will be charged with attempted suicide.

He could be fined up to S$5,000 for trespassing MRT tracks.
==========================================================

星期六

2009-06-27T18:09:00.003+08:00

就这样度过了一个懒洋洋的星期六。好久没有站在窗前看着那美丽的夕阳了。橘色的阳光照耀在一座座的组屋，让人不禁想多看一眼。望着窗外，远视着那个篮球场，突然好想打打球。独自一个人打也就算了，连球都没有，那才可悲。不知从几何时，我已喜欢上了汗水。无所事事的赖在床上已不像从前那样能带给我享受了。我在想，即使给了我一颗篮球，我还能跟以前一样有勇气的独自上球场吗？向晚意不适，驱车登古原。夕阳无限好，只是近黄昏。

Evolution

2009-06-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

Put down all your pride and integrity. Erase the past. Forsake the present and embrace the future. Let your mind be clear, fear not what might be. Feed on the weak and prey on the strong. Let there be no light at the end of the tunnel, as darkness is the mother of true eternal. In music you will find, that soothes your mind. Mighty warrior, prepare your sword. Face the horizon and clear your thoughts. Fear not the devil nor the god, behold the power that blinds them all.

Lies

2009-06-25T11:53:00.002+08:00

As promised, an update from yesterday. =)

Yesterday morning, my ex sent me a SoS message. There was a bastard who kept pestering her and most probably the worst harassment i have ever heard of. Let's keep the profanity low here, so i'll just name him Bunny (Actually his real name is Benny, but due to my ex misspelling it as Bunny in one of her sms to me, i decided to just use it out of disrespect for him =P). A little recap on who this Bunny is. He was the one who tried to get into the relationship between me and my ex and eventually caused me so much unrest till the point i had to give her up. At that point of time, i was basing my decision that my ex should just go with him since they have much more to talk about, with the assumption that Bunny wasn't a BAD guy. Yup, that was a horrible decision on my part and a poor judgement due to the lack of information.

Somehow, my ex decided to message me again after that and its through that fateful conversation that i realised that Bunny wasn't as innocent as he seemed to be. He was a devil in disguise. I was infuriated upon knowing that he was sowing discord between us by making false accusations geared towards me on numerous occassions. He acted like an angel in front of me and carried out his backstabbing operations behind my back. How classic. For all my friends who have known me long and deep enough, you would have guessed i will not back out from such a humiliating challenge posed by the likes of him. And so, it was game on. He could have gotten away with all his dark deeds and had a good time toying with my ex, but too bad for him, i had a late realization.

From then on, it was all about me exposing him down to his soul. His downfall was that he told all his lies based on an assumption that failed him eventually. My ex kept everything to herself and hardly tell me anything. Using this to his advantage, he was able to defame me as much as he wanted without me having the chance to retaliate or even realizing. Sucks to be him. He greatly underestimated me. Eventually, he had to pay for that. I can tolerate people surpassing me, but not people who shortchanged me =P My capability isn't restricted by how much i can achieve, but rather how willing i am. It has been so long since someone tried me and i was more than glad to perform as i really did need some practice to protect my skills from obsoletism.

Back to topic, yesterday. He wanted to meet her for "one last time". It wasn't difficult to realize that his definition of LAST greatly differed from what was written in any dictionary available. The funny thing was that, he was dying to avoid any confrontation with me. I wonder why. HEH~ Too bad for him, with the help of my ex, he came down eventually. He was expecting me initially and was hesitant to meet. After having assurance from my ex that i would not be around, he took a cab down. I had a hard time hiding with a flu. =( He surveyed the area for my existence before finally went over to talk to my ex. 心机好重哦~ 白天不做亏心事，夜半敲门心不惊。 But it was worthwhile as it was so fun playing with his mind when i appeared out of nowhere to interrupt their conversation.

During the whole confrontation, he was beating around the bush and profusely dodging questions posed to him. Yawn. The main idea was to bombard him with questions so that he won't have much time to think and react. Answers gotten in this manner will either be the real truth, or some disorganized lies. Proven once again, he was full of crap and told a truckload of lies. Everytime when he was posed a question by me, he would digress and never answer the question in a straightforward manner. Typical of him. I would expect nothing less, lol~! Being the experienced interrogator, i kept pushing him for answers, but he did not fail to sound ridiculous. There was this classic one that kept me laughing in the back of my brain for quite some time. He, as a UOB personal banker, for his own interest to dig out personal information about my ex, resorted to searching through the UOB database. On top of that, he told my ex that he was able to gain access to the database easily, which in light, is a form of threat. He even browsed through my facebook profile to look at all my friends' profile. Sorry friends, this stalker is just pure lunatic. I apologized for any inconvenience caused. =|

Hopefully, this would be the first and the last time i would hold a confrontation with a cowardly, scheming, psychotic liar. As for my ex, i really hope that she can finally get all the answers she has always wanted and be able to make decisions that will be best for her. There is only so much i can do for her as a friend. =) Even though i still do have feelings for her, but it takes two hands to clap. In the past, suffering from all the false accusations, i felt so sad each day when i thought of her after our breakup, even though i was the one who initiated it. To be wrongly judged by the one you love will most probably be the top 10 saddening things on Earth. But now, since the accusations against me have dissolved, i'm able to lead back a normal life. It was a pity that we had to end up like this, as i felt that we both weren't alone right from the beginning. Oh well, it's a lesson learned. Life goes on and everything that happens from now on will be written on a brand new page. =)

好心情

2009-06-25T00:39:00.001+08:00

今夜的心情特别好。不多说，因为我困了。明天有空再补充。只能说，好久没有这样痛痛快快的说出话了！！！

Community Spread. Finally.

2009-06-22T11:02:00.002+08:00

Yup. It has already been confirmed that H1N1 has reached a stage whereby community spread is prevalent in Singapore. You might be suggesting that "prevalent" might be too strong a word to use considering the mere 142 confirmed cases. But to me, it is nothing less than the truth. A word of advice, H1N1 will continue to spread like wildfire and there will be nothing much that can be done to stop it. It will remain as one of the most interesting issue to me, considering the fact that some people are still negatively optimistic with the current situation. As long as i'm not on the receiving end, i will be more than happy to see if it turns out the way i perceived.

Genkai

2009-06-22T10:46:00.002+08:00

Feeling really tired now. I wonder if its because due to the lack of sleep or something else...? I'm feeling like i'm living in the shadow of another person, which is totally unbearable. Why do i have to live up to the expectations set by others? I'm me myself. Uniquely me. For every good trait i have, there is a bad one. But is it not the case for everyone? Neglecting the positive while attacking the negative is one of the most efficient way to shut a person down. Flowers bloom under the most natural and carefree conditions, while those constantly tortured by the harsh environment will lose their capabilities and eventually wither. I want to be myself, the one who is always brimming with confidence, not easily shaken with the ability to enjoy and have a good laugh more than anyone else. Insecurity is really the worst emotional weapon on Earth. I'm suffering the aftereffect already. When my confidence hits rock bottom, things are bound to change, in a major way. At that point of time, a decision will be made, regardless of my willingness to make one. That is when my confidence will be rebuilt and peak after a period of time. I'm sure this will be the outcome, as i am already foreseeing that moment which will take place in the near future.

Not Wanting To Hurt...

2009-06-17T21:19:00.003+08:00

Why does she have to message me, attempting to do something for me...? In the sorry state i am now, even i myself have no idea what am i pursuing at the moment... When i received her message, my eyes were already filled with tears from the earlier crying in the office... No one noticed me i guessed... Provided my frequent visits to the loo did not arouse any suspicion...

She said she did not want me to face the sadness alone... and wanted to help... How...? The reason i'm feeling so sad is because i've lost the one i once held so dear... I contributed to the decimation of her love for me... I so wanted to get it back... But nothing can be done anymore... Her heart is no longer with me... But with a guy whom i deemed as trash... If not for her... I would have confronted that coward... I've been silly to kept their love alive... As a guy with integrity and dignity, this is as far as i can go in their favor...

I yearned to see her... But the thought of her going out with someone who plotted against me is just too overbearing and humiliating... The last thing i would want is for her to go off into a world that was initially built upon lies... Regardless what the world might provide eventually... Partly also because the world was built upon my weaknesses and at the expense of my truthfulness... Every time i went out with her since that undesirable incident, i've always borne thoughts of making her leave that wretched one... And i never fail to generate stress for her by doing so... That is why i chose to leave her for good... no matter how much i hate to do this... I love her too much to put her into any kind of dilemma again... I knew i could not treat her as friend... no matter how much i wanted to... as i'm still deeply in love with her... As long as i still love her... my conscious will control me to persuade her back to my side... which will then cause her further trouble... I want to avoid all these... for her happiness... regardless its authenticity...

She also wanted me to know that she still remember the times we were together... But of what significance is that of now...? Why does she have to tell me all these when she can't shower me with love like before...? What i am missing so much is her love for me... Regardless of what we do... as long as i can feel her love... it's enough... It has always been this way... and perhaps that is why we ended up like this... I was too contented with this minor happiness and perhaps forgotten the rules of the game... I would rather we not hold any memories of each other... so that we can start all over again... And if there isn't any possibilities between us... i would want her to forget clean about me... and concentrate on her current happiness...

Yes... i've reached my limits... i'm no longer able to foster a smile in front of everyone... my motivation and confidence are nosediving... crying myself to sleep and waking up in tears from a terrible nightmare for a few consecutive days are driving me crazy... I loathe each and every second that is coming my way... I loathe each and every moment i'm alone... I'm drained...

爱哭鬼

2009-06-17T16:46:00.000+08:00

爱哭鬼，还不赶快停止脑海中那些感伤的画面。。。

懦

2009-06-17T13:36:00.002+08:00

为了让自己好受一点，我拼命的告诉自己我是那么憎恨她选择了一个介入者。没想到我连一个不要脸，懦弱，满口谎言的无赖都比不上。我也借此给自己多了个讨厌她的理由。今天，由于有事要办，午餐我独自一个人。歌，听了百遍不该就够了吗？我哼了三遍，眼泪却不自觉的在眼里打转。妈的，不是说好把她忘了吗？难道连对自己的诺言都守不住吗？终究，我还是一个给不起承诺的家伙。我常对朋友说，多希望我能操控自己的感情与潜意识，那么悲伤就再也不会是悲伤。人，往往都抵不住真实的感觉。无论怎么努力的自我催眠，都无效。过了多久，我已不晓得。我还在努力，努力地将自己催眠。。。

2-Men-Team: Virgin Exploration

2009-06-17T00:55:00.003+08:00

Together with choon boon, we have formed a team of two. Our aim is to explore every part of Singapore, in order to have a good knowledge of all, if not most, interesting places available. Today we headed off to Bugis and our first stop is the new shopping mall, Iluma.

Iluma is just another typical shopping mall, but with alot of walking space. I have read reviews on it and many have complained about the lack of shops due to the abundance of walking space. Well... I personally feel otherwise. Somehow, it gives me a new experience which other shopping malls can't provide. I love to have a lot of space instead of squeezing with the crowds. For me, i would visit Iluma more than any other shopping centers, just because it gives me a better ambiance. I wouldn't go to a shopping mall just because it offers more variety of shops. That's just me. Shopping ain't my cup of tea, and i prefer to take my time and chill.

Level 5 is all about movies and arcades, while level 7 provides the shoppers with a sky garden, which is currently unavailable. If you think that the sky garden is the "thing", you're so wrong. There is a huge area allotted for a up-and-coming game center and also a Lan center just beside it. The soft launch of the Lan center will be on this coming Saturday. I'm so looking forward to visiting it with my friend. The environment there is superb, and with the cheap rates due to the soft launch, it is something that should not be missed. Mind you, it has been AGES since i last visited a Lan shop. :)

After that, we went on to visit many many random places, covering many MRT stations in the process. I'm too lazy to further elaborate on the trip, but it was one hell of an experience man! Exploration has never been this fun and i'm looking forward to the next trip, which is most probably at Clarke Quay.

I've bought the first can of beer in my life time. Yup, it's true, my first can. I have never bought any beer or wine before and have never really drank with the exception of a few gulps in order to entertain my friends.

During the trip, i happened to revisit various places that i've previously went to with her... Going back to those places gave me a brand new kind of feeling. During the times i went with her, i was new to those places. But this time, i'm going back to those places, no longer as a green horn. It really feels good to get to know more places in Singapore. It feels good to have a beer while venturing into the unknowns. Sometimes i wonder... why am i doing all these...? Is it because of her...? I wonder... Oh well... All these are something that i should have learned long ago... It might have been a little too late now... How i wish i could turn back the pendulum...

N E S T

2009-06-16T11:49:00.002+08:00

it's Not Easy, but i'm Still Trying. How easy is it to just forget a particular thing? Not easy at all i must say. But still, with an immense amount of effort, i believe it can be done. It might not be a smooth-sailing attempt, but ultimately, it has to succeed. Time will never erase a memory, but instead archive it out of our reach.

It is just like any piece of data on a computer. Once created, the data will remain in the computer, even after a deletion command is executed. As long as no effort is put into restoring that data, it will continue to persist in oblivion. But that doesn't means that the data is lost forever. It will take a more-than-usual amount of effort to retrieve the desired data.

I would say, how our brains work bears huge resemblance to how a computer works. An experience that have been seemingly forgotten after a span of 1 year might just come back with a sudden jolt.

I'm trying and is hard at it. Trying to remove the haunting pain. Keeping myself as busy as possible. Hope it works.

谐星的辛酸

2009-06-15T18:02:00.002+08:00

Quoted from Yahoo! News...

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/xin/20090604/ten-267-jacky-wu-im-leaving-taiwan-china-3c1b9bc.html

=================================================================================

Even so, it is not difficult to sense Wu's reluctance to leave. "In the beginning, it might be hard for me to sleep without the applause of the audiences. Hopefully in a couple of years, people will still recognize and call out to me on the streets. At that time, I will not turn back, because I want to hide my crying face."

=================================================================================

Comedians can never put down their mask to reveal their true emotions... Jiayou Jacky Wu!!!

眼泪

2009-06-15T11:58:00.001+08:00

青春若有张不老的脸
但愿她永远不被改变
许多梦想总编织太美
跟着迎接幻灭
爱上你是最快乐的事
却也换来最痛苦的悲
苦涩交错爱的甜美
我怎样都学不会
ha......
oh 眼泪
眼泪都是我的体会
成长的滋味
oh 眼泪
忍住眼泪不让你看见
我在改变
孤单的感觉
你从不曾发现
我笑中还有泪
oh 眼泪
眼泪流过无言的夜
心痛的滋味
oh 眼泪
擦干眼泪忘掉一切
曾有的眷恋
眼泪是苦
眼泪是伤悲
眼泪都是你
眼泪是甜
眼泪是昨天
眼泪不流泪

街角的祝福

2009-06-15T10:30:00.002+08:00

多少个秋多少个冬
我几乎快要被治愈好
但还是会只因为一个重覆的话题
就无心自扰
也曾想过
若真遇见我们应该如何是好
我想我还是会站在某一个街角
不让你看到
只因为我不想打扰
只因为怕你解释不了
只因为现在你的眼睛里
她比我还重要
我只好假装我看不到
看不到你和她在对街拥抱
你的快乐我可以感受得到
这样的见面方式对谁都好
我只好假装我听不到
听不到别人口中的她好不好
再不想问也不想被通知到
反正你的世界我管不了
若不想问若不想被通知到
======================================================================

This song seemed to reflect what i have been feeling in one of the past few days. At least i am able to enjoy this song now without much emotion, which means this feeling is in the past already

i'm back... partially :)

2009-06-15T10:21:00.002+08:00

These few days have been torturous, but nevertheless, i survived. Sorry to everyone whom i talked to for not being able to provide much detail about what i have went through these past few days, as i felt that i should respect the privacy of all parties involved. Despite this, i'm so appreciative and glad that i've received so many opinions and comments in regards to this complex matter. It really doesn't matter to me if those words are comforting or painful wake-up calls. In my eyes, those are really care and concern that i'm showered with from my trusted friends :)

Today is going to be a fine day vO. Ov

【自创曲】

2009-06-15T02:15:00.004+08:00

忍了好久。。。我始终还是忍不住。。。问出了口。。。发现事实的真相。。。赤裸裸的呈现在我面前。。。我到底该前进还是在原地踏步。。。选择了前进。。。可是结果是我想要的吗。。。揭穿了那人面兽心。。。可自己却没变的更好。。。不忍心看着她无辜的受骗。。。想努力的保护她。。。一厢情愿的任性。。。是她要的吗。。。不曾想过。。。她能承受那么残酷的现实吗。。。我毫不晓得。。。一心的认为一切都能重来。。。多好笑的想法。。。眼睁睁的看着她心甘情愿的受伤。。。心里万分的不舍。。。无能为力的我还能做些什么呢。。。留着让心淌血。。。还是不负责任的离开。。。说到底。。。我还是没顾虑到她的感受。。。也许我的担忧都是多余的。。。我一直烙印在她脑海中的幸福对她来说也许根本是一种负担。。。真正的幸福。。。也许是她现在所追求的。。。我还不累。。。可是察觉到她已好累了。。。她对我的感觉。。。说破了也许是一种怜悯。。。不舍看到我受伤。。。我不适合当可怜角色。。。在人们眼中强悍霸气。。。逗趣搞笑的我。。。人间蒸发了吗。。。就像宗宪。。。我们都是同一种人。。。一个谐星。。。永远都得带上一个面具。。。笑容。。。累了该怎么办。。。泪水到底该往哪里吞。。。压抑的心情。。。早已忘了怎么正面的释放。。。

========================================================================
不放手【自创曲】

告诉我
你到底想什么
能不能诚
实的告诉我并且让我在你的左右
不要
轻易的说分手
我会难过
只要你在一度相信我
我不会放手

========================================================================
不要放不开【自创曲】

对你的爱我从不曾明白
放开胸怀最后才能释怀
当初你爱我的坏还是乖
对你来说我们的爱到底存不存在

当我离开后你是否 alright
工作起来我的心到处 fly
再次坦白 i say sorry and you cry
再次牵起你的双手一起走向未来

========================================================================
纯属虚构【自创曲】

该怎么做我想懂
该怎么说我不懂
我为你付出的一切
你难道都不接受

过了多久我不懂
有没有结果我想懂
假如这一切都是虚有
我不在难过

如果那只是海市蜃楼
请你放开我

========================================================================

早已忘记当时写这些歌的灵感来自何处。。。现在觉得好贴切。。。应该都隔了一年吧。。。始终没把歌写完。。。副歌的词。。。副歌的曲。。。全都有了。。。可是副歌终究是副歌。。。没有独当一面的能力。。。若没主歌。。。歌永远都只能杵在残缺的状态之下。。。

CE gathering + Mofo Mob

2009-06-13T15:09:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was supposed to be a long working day, as there were installations to be done for a large number of PCs. But in the afternoon, Mr Man received a call saying that the installation was postponed to next week. HURRAY! This means that my original plan of going PC show with Yuenloong and Choonboon can be put into action again.

In the afternoon, 3 of us in the office, Mr Man, Norman and me, went to buy a cake for our dear Joshua and Zhixiong. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Being a nice intern, i was obliged to pay for half of the cake for my supervisor (Joshua) and also a tiptop curry pok! lOl~ Mr Man paid the other half :)

Suntec was filled with a massive crowd due to the PC show. Actually, there wasn't really anything that catches my eye at the PC show. The prices ain't really that wonderful and it further motivates me to go down again on Sunday instead. The only thing i gained from this PC show on friday was the signing up of POEMS account that is used for stock-trading. Not to forget, a great talk-cock session too. :)

A few hours ago, i was involved in the carwash event to canvass funds for the MSE/SCE FOC. 1 hour ago, i was already prepared to go to the PC show again, but this time with my girl. But... i received a message... a horrible one. Mobilisation. Everything after that is self-explanatory. On the cab back home, my mind was filled with sadness. Am i jealous or what? I really can't understand what's with that sudden sadness... Even though me and my girl are no longer together... But somehow, knowing that a guy will replace me to go the the PC show with her later on saddened me greatly... I don't know what's so attractive about her too... Is this what's love all about? Sigh... It seems like I'm always not the one around when she needs a person most... It's that guy who is always around... God, what should i do...? I'm the one who destroyed the whole thing, do i even deserve a chance to ask for another chance...? The pain...

OT lor!!!

2009-06-12T10:58:00.002+08:00

Wowzer, tonight will be my first OT in NCS. Most would have dread having OT on a Friday night, but that's not the case for me. Instead, i am looking forward to it! X) Having work to do after office hour is a nightmare, but being able to work together with your brothers is as cool as it gets. Mr Man (pronounced as SLOW in chinese) is often not around in the office, as he has to go down to individual sites to carry out his work. Yesterday, Mr Man asked me whether I'm extending my contract. He was glad to hear that i extended my contract and said something like "Good ma, like that got people to pei me. If not the cubicle so sian". HAHAHA! Signs of Mr Man turning GAY!!! I wonder who is the one who kept asking me not to GAY with him last time. Now he is more and more GAY liao lor! Oops, he come back to the cubicle liao, shan't say anymore. HAHAHA! GAY!!!!!!!!!

乱灯

2009-06-11T22:46:00.001+08:00

一个人独自逛街的寂寞还真不好受。。。

Raffles Place

2009-06-11T22:37:00.002+08:00

It's so interesting to just sit back and relax in the open area of Raffles Place. There are so many surveyors and ticket-sellers around, but none of them are having ANY luck at all. As usual, there are different batches of "workers". There are those who asked for your details in the form of surveys and also those that sell tickets in the name of "XXX". Is it easier to have someone do a survey or to have them draw out notes from their wallets in exchange for a lucky draw ticket? I would say both makes no difference to me.

In fact, both requires the exact same set of techniques and discipline. What i am seeing here are some shabbily dressed students. Ever wonder why does a guy accept the preaching of a female tix seller but not the male counterpart? People are generally attracted to pretty stuff. If you're not the most charming guy on Earth, at least make yourself presentable. For guys, charm the office ladies with your cuteness. No office lady can resist a little flirting from a young,cute guy. You do not need to be persistent to be successful, instead catch their attention the moment they set their eyes on you. With a great smile and a casual attitude, a conversation isn't impossible. A cutesy, dragged long "hi" is much more useful than a 300 words-per-minute speech. And don't forget, the smile on your face :)

*And i just realised that the people sitting around me are waiting for the organizer of a dating event. The girl sitting beside me is a real cutesy! Wonder why is she joining events such as this... :)*

Memory Leak

2009-06-11T11:02:00.003+08:00

Gosh, i seemed to be facing a major memory leak recently. Things that i have thought of 30 seconds ago might just go missing without a trace. Most of the times i'm able to recall bits and pieces which will eventually result in the restoration of the lost memory. But there are still cases where i am left totally clueless and never got a chance to retrieve it back. Sigh... I guess i'm under quite of stress recently and there are too many thoughts going through my mind. Memory overload. Aborting. ARGH!!!

I should be trying a memopad soon, to jot down any thoughts that i harbor. In fact, writing down the things on your mind helps in alot of way. For people who are facing the same temporary problem as i am having now, taking notes help to retain whatever information that might be useful. Creativity is one of the most attractive trait in life (at least that's what i thought), but the problem with it is that it comes with a stroke of genius and disappears into the oblivion with a blink of eyes. Mere thoughts ain't impressive unless shared with others who appreciate them. So what is the point of having creativity but a lousy memory?

It has also been scientifically proven that writing down everything that comes into your mind while trying to sleep HELPS you to sleep in peace. By writing the thoughts down, it gives a tranquilizing effect that allows one to feel safe and secure, thus the enhancement of the ability to fall asleep.

Speaking of memory... the PC fair is near!!! But the crappiest part is that i haven't got a partner to go with me. :| Buzzing through a PC fair is one hell of an experience, but the enjoyment only comes when there are 2 or 3 people in a group. No more, no less. Solitary breeds loneliness, while a big crowd is just plain annoying for anything to be accomplished. When there is a big crowd, it requires a huge amount of effort to keep everyone engaged and hence defeat the purpose when there isn't much time for SALVAGING. RAWR!!! The only confirmed visit to the PC fair is on friday. Yup, after work. How COOL is that? It just means that we have only 2 hours to RAID the IT ruins. Most probably we will be missing out on a lot of great deals. I seriously regretted missing the last one, so hopefully, i can find a partner for the weekend RAID. A list of potentials run through my mind... But i wonder if they have already planned something? Sigh. Oh well, things will turn out fine right? :)

"Pyongyang's main Rodong Sinmun newspaper reiterated that the country will consider any sanctions a declaration of war and will respond with "due corresponding self-defense measures," and on Tuesday the country said it would use nuclear weapons in a "merciless offensive" if provoked."

I'm keeping my finger crossed that North Korea ain't a sissy and is sticking to their words. Damn... i shouldn't be posting my evil thoughts on the blog... Oh well. :)

Things to do

2009-06-10T11:52:00.002+08:00

After recent incidents, i realised that i have yet alot to learn man. Even though people feels that i am better than average, but i am well aware that i'm nowhere near the top, or even good. Right now, my mind is so damn clear, finally the first time after a few weeks. Truth is always hurtful, but once you treat it as a kind of empowerment, it doesn't hurt that much anymore and somehow, you might gain something by dealing with it.

Some of the things that i believed i'm still lacking:

1) Understanding of women in general
Basic understanding gets me to nowhere. This is what i have learned for the past few weeks. Just like a medic, it isn't enough to go into a battlefield with just the knowledge of CPR and a medi-guidebook. It takes much more than what i have now to really make a girl comfortable. I wonder how should i be proceeding from here to further enhance my understanding, but i just gonna try whatever ways i can.

2) Direction idiot
Yup, this isn't something new and it has been this way for the past... 24 years? I've always never regarded this as a problem, as there are always people around to ask for directions. But... when it comes to planning something... duh. Without the ability to even locate a place properly, how the hell can i plan something out of nothing? That's a major problem man. It's time for me to start running around singapore and stop being so lost everytime.

3) Cycling... LOL!
This is the most ridiculous thing to consider, but is indeed one of the most crucial stuff in my mind. If i can cycle, it might really cure my "direction-idiotness" and allow me to explore more places too! It's always so boring when i can only take a walk around the neighbourhood in the wee hours. If only i can cycle, things will be different... I can go to places where my legs can't bring me before they tire out. That will be so cool. Yup, and this will be my top priority at the moment, since it is something that can really be picked up without much difficulty.

There are some other stuff that i want to look into, but right now, i hope to fully correct the points mentioned above as i believe they are much more critical at this point of time. Wow, i feel so good after penning all these down. Now that i have my thoughts cleared and directions found, time to get to work. :)

最帅的一次

2009-06-09T20:32:00.004+08:00

虽然还是有不舍，可是经过了一天，证实她仍然没有改变。对于一个只追求施舍，而不付出的人，我又何必要那么执着呢？也不是说她不好，只是至今，她还是无法分辨对与错，信任对她来说根本不存在。若无信任，无付出，两人在一起也只是虚无。不了解我的人多的是，了解我的人才知道我向来直来直往，绝不轻易说谎。善意的谎言是必要的，至于那些我不欣赏的人，对不起，我的话的确连屁都不如。对于我在乎的人，我从不掩饰。可是，偏偏就有人不信。

我还是很感谢能经历这一切，这让我上了一堂很宝贵的课。付出是要双方面的，而不是一人的一厢情愿。这道理，在这之前，我从来都没机会体会。只有正正体会到的人，才能有所领悟。她的确是一个好女孩，如果能再重来一次，我还是会毫无保留的用着我那真诚的心爱着她。但是在她学会如何信任与付出之前，我的用心是不可能闯进她的心房。这次的失败，只意味着我还不够资格。现实是残酷的。太美好的事件不是每一个人都能接受。拥有残缺的失误却会被毫无止境的放大。

不负责任，潇洒的离开从来都不是我的STYLE。选择了用这种方式更深刻的让我体会到，这还真的不是我的STYLE。孤单的日子又将来临。手中握着一杯热腾腾的茶，淡淡的回想着那些美好的回忆也不是一件坏事。深深地爱着她，却没有一丝的悲伤，这种感觉还不赖。月亮真的好圆。。。

Nightmare

2009-06-08T22:14:00.003+08:00

Today has been a very tiring day for me, even though there was nothing much to do in office...

I had to give up on the girl that i felt was the best at this moment of my life... But... What does effort on my side lead to? I'm trying so hard, yet all i get is disbelieve from her... Words are cheap, and i'm constantly putting words into actions to prove my sincerity... For her, her liking for me cease in the form of verbal... She always think that we will never be together for long, as she needs constant socializing thrills... I'm already trying my best... But what...? She always wanted to do something interesting... She not only shot my ideas down, but refused to provide me with any suggestions upon requests... Why... I wonder... Is it because I am just an entertainer... a joker in her life? Am i being paid to perform...? Isn't a relationship a 2-way sweet burden...? Too many things... too many issues... too many reasons...

Just when i thought i could just sleep my tiring night away... i was awakened by a horrible dream... I dreamed of all sorts of nasty things that further saddened me... I can't exactly remember... but those things involved her doing something... Isn't it the end for us already...? Why am i still so upset about it...? I can't stop crying... I knew something like this will happen... I was there when she cried... Now i'm alone crying...

左边

2009-06-08T17:42:00.000+08:00

总是忍不住寂寞掉下眼泪
你才会给安慰
担心短暂的晴天
随时都可能被阴霾收回

等待有机会最坏也最甜美
我乐观却疲惫
因为太怕失去你
所以连快乐里都装满伤悲...

你不曾发觉
你总是用右手牵着我
但是心却跳动在左边
你和我之间的遥远
永远隔着亲切爱少得可怜
伸出右手
想陪着你向前走
感受你爱我的心跳在左边
那么深深爱你的我
相信你会了解...

总在埋怨过你的冷漠之后
又急着说抱歉
仿佛向疏远的你
乞求一点体贴都是我不对
结果有可能最美也最可悲
我做好了准备

也许太自由的你
心里面那个家..
谁也不能回
你不曾发觉
你总是用右手牵着我
但是心却跳动在左边
你和我之间的遥远
永远隔着亲切爱少得可怜
伸出右手
想陪着你向前走
感受你爱我的心跳在左边
那么深深爱你的我
相信你会了解...
我一直相信总有一天...
你会用左手牵着我走向明天...
未来很遥远却会实现
心在同一边就能够听见...
你说的那句我爱你...
你不曾发觉
你总是用右手牵着我
但是心却跳动在左边
你和我之间的遥远
永远隔着亲切爱少得可怜
伸出右手
想陪着你向前走
感受你爱我的心跳在左边
那么深深爱你的我你一定..
看得见
=============================
哭了。。。

.

2009-06-04T19:08:00.003+08:00

The more i think about it, the more i hate myself... What the hell did i do!!! Feel like crap the whole day and the feeling just won't go away... Almost wanted to punch through the bus window... damn it. I feel so helpless... It seems to me that there is nothing i can do... i wonder how she is feeling now... it must be the worst day of her life...

One

2009-06-04T10:34:00.000+08:00

can forgive me huijuan...?

累了

2009-05-29T01:17:00.000+08:00

我累了。。。不想。。。不忍心。。。只能退出了。。。

【老王同学会】

2009-05-28T00:29:00.001+08:00

【老王同学会】真是一部不错的剧。里头的歌都好复古，内容丰富，赞！

寒风吹起细雨迷离
风雨解开我的启迪
我像小船寻找港湾
不能把你望记
爱的希望爱的回味
爱的往事难以追忆
风中花蕾生怕枯萎
我愿以为你祝福
我爱你我心以属于你
今生世不移
在我心中再没有谁
代替你的地位
我爱你对你付出真意
不会漂浮不移
你要为我再想一想
我决定爱你一万年

Polyclinic Wowzer

2009-05-27T21:13:00.002+08:00

Took some time off to go for a polyclinic visit today. The main purpose is to get a referral letter so as to gain access to the CGH dermatologists. There are quite a few things that i personally felt very NICE and worth the trip. lol~ here goes~

1) The girl at the registration counter at the AMK polyclinic is... amazing. Beautiful eyes, sweet voice~ ahh~~ Oh wait, she is behind a mask no thanks to the swine flu. Oh well, she is sweet afterall :)

2) I finally got my referral letter. lol!

3) I found an outlet related to "Dermalogica" in AMK on my way back!!! I have heard so much about products from Dermalogica! Will go down to have a look when i am free.

Yea! That's about all for today. NO WAIT!

There is a COKE ZERO craze going on in the company. There is an event going on where you buy a bottle of COKE ZERO and beneath the cap is an unique code. SMS it and stand to win a XBOX 360! Guess how many we bought? HEH, 15. Thanks to my dear team leaders. Joshua and Azmi, where is my XBOX 360?! :P

License 2 Play

2009-05-27T10:55:00.003+08:00

Omg... I can't believe that i miss the event... I only knew of it after reading the digital life that came with the straits time 5 minutes ago... Sigh... What was i doing last saturdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :( I wonder if there is any event this weekend that is worth going... Staying at home is just so boring

Bad Sleeping Habit

2009-05-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

Sigh, i've got an assessment tomorrow morning and here i am, thrash-talking here. Trying to sleep before 12 is impossible and i have proven it yet again. DUH! I wonder what will happen to me tomorrow... If i don't wake up by 8... I'm going to be such a goner... Arghhhh, the reason behind my inability to sleep early is always due to a process called THINKING. It's not as if i don't think much during the day, but my brain seems to enjoy working at its optimal JUST BEFORE i'm going to sleep.

THINKING about what? I wonder. Everything that can be given a thought to will flood my mind in a second. Seriously, why the hell am i thinking about recession on the bed when i'm still a student for at least 1 more year? Wondering if i can make it for the senior camp when it is 1 month away from now?

At least there is something that hit my head which i thought was worth thinking about. My facial condition is getting from bad to worse since the last acne outbreak. Arghhhh. Even though i am hardworking at cleansing my face, it doesn't seem to help at all. I really want to get rid of this problem asap, maybe i will just do as planned. Take a half day off tomorrow and go to sengkang polyclinic. From there, try my utmost best to get a referral to National Skin Center. If i am not wrong... the next available appointment that i can get from NSC might be in july. Wow, 1-2 months from now, how cool. ARGHHHH, i will do anything even if i have to go under a knife! Just fix my facial condition!!! Hmm... i gotta start saving now in this case. Sigh... work during the holidays...? Oh man...

迷路的小绵羊

2009-05-25T11:45:00.001+08:00

至今，也只有这首歌能形容我此刻的心情。。。

Say goodnight晚安
谢谢你陪我一整个夜晚
Close your eyes,be quiet
我明白你有自己的不安
很多来不及我不曾看见
我只遇见你的现在
不管你接受或离开
I hope to stay for a while
除此之外要你明白
你的笑我真是喜欢看
于是我一次又一次等待
其实都还算愉快
除此之外非常遗憾
你的心我还是打不开
And if you need somebody
我确定我会在
不会走开

So Goodbye晚安
舍不得看你觉得不自在
It’s alright,I’m fine
看起来这故事会写不完
很多差一点你没有发现
你只认识我的现在
不管你留下或走开
I’m gonna stay for a while
除此之外我要你明白
你的笑我真是喜欢看
于是我一次又一次等待
其实都还算愉快
除此之外非常遗憾
你的心我还是打不开
And if you need somebody
我确定我会在
除此之外我还在等待
你的心将为我敞开
But if you need somebody
你知道我会
不会走开

Deep

2009-05-22T19:23:00.002+08:00

Lately, the number of blank checks i've been receiving is rising exponentially. I wonder what that signifies. Normally, people would be happy to receive a blank check, but that's not the case for me. I would rather the numbers be written clearly on those blank checks. Looking back at those blank checks, what an eye sore. Time to throw them away soon, as the expiry date has long been exceeded.

Looking forward to the event in one and a half month from now instead. But before that, more craziness gonna take place. 带我走. Argh, i mustn't learn from 小肥 :)

Expectation. Good or Bad?

2009-05-19T20:19:00.004+08:00

I have been having lunch with my colleagues for quite some time, and often there will be something of interest that is being discussed or shared. During a recent lunch, one of my colleague talked about something that have kept me thinking for a very long time. Since... at least 3 years ago?

How can a girl judge a guy? One of my uber pretty colleague (i'm being held at knife point, forgive me lord) was telling us the same story, indicating that no one was going after her. I myself can't comprehend how did she manage to tell such a huge lie so naturally. But that's not the main point and of course the limelight isn't on her in this topic too. Someone gonna kill me when she sees this. LOL! Somehow, one of my male colleague said something that is totally the same as i have thought.

Some guys are super romantic and "Mr Nice Guy" during the courtship period. Beyond that comes the ugly true self. Girls often fall for the illusions surrounding them. Oh come on, who can resist a prince charming who is seemingly forever romantic? Each and every of his action is so gentlemanly, and he will even slap himself hard in the face for letting off a burp that is as audible as a bat's voice.

Here here, i'm not blaming anyone, this is truly irresistable an offer to miss. Yea, thats where the saying that "People in love have their IQ literally cut by half" proves its worth. Can anyone maintain "Mr Nice Guy" for his whole life? If you think you are up for it, prove it to me. I'm willing to share 80% of my fortune with you by the time you drop dead while still remain as a "Mr Nice Guy". At least spare me the 20% for my children k?

Wouldn't it be worse for a girl to be disillusioned and to suffer real hard in the future, not prepared for the reality? So, to allow the girls to be able to make an informed decision (wow, that's 3 'to' in a row!), shouldn't the guy expose the girls to the real him and tell them to accept him as he is? (that's 5 now!) Sound crazy? Definitely. That leaves us with the choice to be... "Mr Nice Guy"?

Since this is the way it has to be, girls shouldn't whine about how much their boyfriends have changed before and after courtship, how irresponsible the guys are. In fact, they are very wrong. I wonder who gave them the misconception that their boyfriends CHANGED. The answer is they DID NOT. All they did was to peel off the SK2 mask and decided that it's more cost-efficient to go without it. Facial mask should be made cheaper in Singapore!!! Oh yea, that's about it.

Single and Available. Looking for someone to keep me attached!

2009-05-17T21:32:00.003+08:00

As i have always said, knowing more about the opposite sex and getting into romances are very good ways to learn and grow. Who are you to say that a particular person is your Mr/Mrs Right just by judging using your pair of naked eyes? Perhaps a little brain? Oh duh, come on, give me a break. =P The difference between courtship and relationship is that, one is under NO pressure at all, while the other is CONSTANTLY under pressure.

In this year, from my experience and lesson learned, i have come to realise a few points that will most probably aid me in finding a girl that will be my dream girl.

1) Trust. Still the most important thing. It is easy for people to trust me, but i would like to be able to gain trust from my partner from her actions.

2) No two-timer (or N-timer) please. I am totally intoloerant of people like this. My definition of two-timer is that, when a person is in a romance (not necessarily in a relationship), he/she should not be partaking in other romantic stuffs with others. Even though i encourage people to go for romances as much as possible, but the rule of thumb is that, once you are supposed to be dedicated, you should be.

3) Presentable. Yup, this is about appearance. A girl need not have to be all cutesy or drop-dead gorgeous. If you fall under the above 2 categories, who cares what you wear. But if you're not, please, at least wear something decent. Wearing school T-shirt and shorts for a dining out date is horrible. The second time you commit the same mistake despite me telling you just means that you can forget about it. Telling me how much you enjoy being out with me won't save anything. I demand at least a little respect in this aspect.

4) "Nothing". Ok. This is seriously annoying. If you are going to freak out all of a sudden, at least god damn it tell me the reason. When i ask, i expect a reply or at least a clue to what contributed to your sudden moodswing by the 3rd try. Any attempts made by me beyond the 3rd one will no longer be romantic-oriented, neither will i be nasty. Silence is golden. If that's what you want, be it. Oh, don't come crying to me 5 minutes later, dying to tell me everything. It's over. At least for that date.

5) Attention. Hey, when you're going out with me, at least pay me some attention. Leaving me alone while entertaining yourself? Wow. I was glad i ended that date fast. This is optional, depending on how much i love the girl. If my love for her is more than her love for me, i would do anything in a relationship. :P

That's all for now. So... anyone has any girls to introduce? =P i hope my experience and realisation doesn't scare anyone out there. I'm just being frank, and maybe a girl might just changed my thinkings once and for all.

*Currently Single And Available. No Romance In Progress As Of 17th May 2009 21:53pm. =) *

blog... ALIVE!

2009-05-17T20:57:00.002+08:00

Wow, finally i'm back! Sigh, it has been a long time since i came back to this blog (excluding the stabbing post haha). So many things have happened and so little time to put them down in words. Hm... i think there is a need to rephrase the previous sentence. It would be more accurate to say "So many things have happened and so little motivations to pen them down". Major changes to my life? I doubt so. Lessons learned and experience gained? Definitely yes.

Learning is a life-long thingy that will never cease, provided the global warming doesn't trigger a wipe-out of the entire human race. Oh well, with the advancements in technology, someone is bound to come up with a solution to deal with the increasing temperature. Maybe a medicine that allows a human body to tolerate more heat? *Potion of Fire Immunity RAWRRR* Or perhaps a bodywear that keeps the temperature cool underneath? *Cloak Of Chill RAWRRR* Not to forget, a device that can cause a drastic decline in temperature globally when the need arises? *Globe of Frost Binding RAWRRR* Yea, keep up the good work mankind and one day, just one fine day when the temperature is right, we will see Martians coming down to Earth for vacations.

Ah, what a bad habit i have. Always going out of point. Oh well, i guess that habit will stay for a couple more decades. Ok, back to topic. The worst thing that has happened to me most probably is agreeing to having my industrial attachment at DSO. The whole (9-2) weeks was HELL. A totally ignorant supervisor combined with a materialistic tutor will provide for the WORST IA an NTU student can ever get. Imagine your supervisor boasting about everything and yet know ABSOLUTELY nothing on how to get those things working. Yup, the kind of people you might have come across, ALL-TALK-NO-ACTION kind. His brain is filled with wonderful images from the internet. Oh wait, what's more ironic about it is that, he does not even know how search engine works. I would not go into details, but having ""(quotes) around your searches and not having them MAKES a HUGE difference. So what about my tutor? Back in DSO, he would haunt me for my progress. Now when i am in NCS, TADA! He gives no shit about my progress. Why? The only explanation would be that he is receiving research grants from DSO (And yes, this is a FACT), but since i left DSO, he got nothing more to gain from me working at NCS. How stupid i was to accept his sweettalk into DSO.

All things must come to an end. Including bad luck (perhaps some bad karma too? LOL!). I switched over to NCS not long after that. Damn, my life was turned upside down. Literally. From a freakish hell filled with nerds who are bound for a distratous attempt to research something new, i came to a heaven where the colleagues are nothing but NICE. Pure sweetness. I shan't describe anymore, good things are always kept deep inside my heart and i'm not going to share it with anyone else!!! *MY PRECIOUSSsSssssss.....*

The happiest recent event will have to be... *drum roll* Norman's Wedding Dinner! Oh, Norman is one of my colleague and he just got married! :) The wedding was uber cool. Very nice decorations and the food was superb! The atmosphere was so good and i was really glad that he invited me! Time for some pictures! :)

Wait. I have hardly posted any pictures up on this blog. LOL! So as not to break away from the traditional ways (MY TRADITIONAL WAYS, LOL), anyone who is interested to see them will have to go to my facebook account :)

NTU: You stab me or I stab you?

2009-03-09T16:45:00.002+08:00

Every time i see a report in regards to the "stabbing" incident in NTU, i feel totally disgusted. Allegations which are made based on imaginations are constantly used against the poor student who died in the tragic incident. The student, known as David, has been accused of stabbing his professor and later on fell to his death in a suicide attempt.

Let us go through the facts one by one. *Note that all the information here are taken from various internet sources. Who knows? They might be all lying. But hundreds against a single statement from the media? The odds is definitely for the internet sources*

1) Cut on the wrist
This has been confirmed to be a false piece of information. David's parents claimed that there are no cuts on the wrist of David. So it means that the one providing this piece of information is telling a lie. Providing a false statement in an attempt to disrupt investigation? Should the one who has provided this piece of fake information be jailed? Food for thought.

2) Who stabbed who?
Is there any evidence that David stabbed his professor? NO. Those who believed that David stabbed his own professor even up till this moment must have IQ of less than 80. There isn't any evidence showing that David stabbed his professor up until now, unless i am so dumb to miss out on any important news. So why does the media portrayed this in the first place?

Simply because, a dead man tells no tale. But think back. David's parents are not allowed to have a look at the whole of David's body. Why is that so? Even if there is a law supporting this action, what is the law trying to achieve? Making room for "moderation"?

The professor was released from the hospital shortly after his admission. Do you think a deep stab on the back can be treated so quickly? Most likely, the stab on the back, if there is even one in the first place, is VERY MINOR. Do you think a person who is bent on killing his professor can only manage a shallow stab in a surprise attack filled with hatred? Even if the stab is deep, do you think the professor has the ability to retaliate to the point where David is so badly cut? Even out of self defence, without wielding a weapon, how can Professor managed to cause so much damage just be defending himself? Is David so clumsy as to cut himself so much in a murder attempt? Cuts on neck? This is funny.

Try holding a pen and put your hand behind your back with the pen pointing towards your back. How hard can you stab yourself in the back in such an awkward position?

Up until now, the discussions is only about David stabbing the prof due to stress or prof stabbing David in an attempt to take over his FYP. I personally feel that this is unfair judgment. Why only limit yourself to 2 possibilities when in fact, there are 4?

Based on the fact that the stab is most probably shallow and it was a surprise attack on David's part, below are the four possibilities each with different probabilities.

a) David stabbed Prof
b) Prof stabbed David
*c) David stabbed himself
*d) Prof stabbed himself

I will stop here, go figure it out yourself.

Although i still have alot of analysis to put down, i am quite drained at the moment, so this will be it for now.

半情歌（自己唱的2）

2008-09-11T22:00:00.000+08:00

this time with music and lower key. lol~

花接受凋零
风接受追寻
心的伤还有一些不要紧
我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧
唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

HRM!!!!!!!!

2008-09-09T01:07:00.001+08:00

Woot! Finally we have finished the discussion part of HRM! With the combined effort, we managed to come up with all the points that were required. Even though we held very few meetings, we were able to be VERY PRODUCTIVE each time and produced undeniably solid works. There were certainly a lot of conflicts in ideas initially and people might be disappointed with their ideas being rejected, but as time went by, everyone understood that these actions were necessary for a good business plan.
Although there were still times where one’s idea was not agreed by the rest, or there were equal votes on both sides of an issue, we were able to come to a consensus eventually. A great job well done!

The feeling was great when everyone just kept voicing out their opinions and giving constructive feedbacks. As everyone has a different way of getting their ideas across, confusions are inevitable. With the help of some really great translators in the group (Vince, CG and Mel! Although mel was missing for the last 2 meetings horrrr), we were able to convey our messages among each other with relative ease. Sometimes I tend to use too many examples to illustrate my ideas, resulting in booncheng receiving the wrong message. But the professional translators were always there to close the gap for us. Wakaka! This is just one of the example, and of course we had to pick up the job of translating at times, but we are only part timers~ heh

Cheers to the 6 of us and remember… FASTER WRITE OUR OWN PARTS!!! LOL!

GREAT JOB EVERYONE~ ^-^

Yet Another Realization

2008-09-08T08:59:00.004+08:00

Recent incidents have made me realized that, not everyone can live the way that will benefit them the most. Since young, i have encouraged people to do things that are "right" for them. Things that will provide the best gain or minimal damage in a particular situation. A few managed to follow my advices and were really grateful to me, while the rest remained lost in their "denial" state. As always, thoughts such as "why are they so stubborn?", "why are they so silly?" kept racing through my mind, and there was nothing more i can do no matter how hard i try.

Finally, i was able to come to a conclusion. Not everyone has the ability to do things my way. To them, my ways are "wrong" in the perspective of the society. Things should be done the traditional "right" way and damages are unavoidable. People having this mentality just do not have the courage to give new things a try. Now i know, i was wrong to try bringing them out of their circles in the first place. Yes, people like them should stay in their circles and never step out of it. I should not be stepping into their circles too since our circles will remain disjoint no matter how hard i try.

If they really did take my advice, will i be happy too? I would have perhaps merge their circles with circles of some other people while the 2 of us remaining disjoint. Why would i do that...? That was because i was thinking of a way that could minimize the damage and provide the best for him/her. No matter the result, i would hope that after everything, our circles would remain disjoint as it is now, and no more effort is being dished out anymore. Effort should be put into something that is beneficial to myself, instead of what i used to do in the past, thinking too much for the person involved.

勇气（自己唱的）

2008-09-07T23:55:00.001+08:00

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里你的真心

Does Dream Implies The Opposite of Reality...?

2008-09-04T00:44:00.002+08:00

Some people say that, dreams are true reflections of what happened during the day, while some have dreams that are totally opposite of what happens in reality. I had a dream yesterday and i wouldn't call it weird. Even though it clearly did not took place in reality, but it was a dream that i really hoped i wouldn't wake up from.

She appeared in my dream. We were just like any lovely couples out there, doing sweet things together and having fun. I couldn't remember a single detail, but all that was left when i woke up, was a smile on my face... And when i finally realized that i was still in bed, the smile faded away slowly... It wasn't real. It was just a dream. I would be more than willing to remain disillusioned and stay trapped in that dream. A dream containing pure and innocent love. A dream, in spite of my utmost reluctance, that will always remain a dream.

I guess i have worked myself too hard recently... Do i really have to finish everything so quickly? Do i have to drive myself to the extreme? In addition to the bad weather, all these factors heighten the severeness of my flu... If doing so allows me to continue with that dream, i am willing to sacrifice my health and sell my soul to my working partner... the devil.

一无所有

2008-09-03T18:21:00.000+08:00

我曾经问个不休　你何时跟我走
可你却总是笑我　一无所有
我要给你我的追求　还有我的自由
可你却总是笑我　一无所有
噢...... 你何时跟我走

脚下的地在走　身边的水在流
可你却总是笑我　一无所有
为何你总笑个没够　为何我总要追求
难道在你面前　我永远是一无所有

告诉你我等了很久　告诉你我最后的要求
我要抓起你的双手　你这就跟我走
这时你的手在颤抖　这时你的泪在流
莫非你是正在告诉我　你爱我一无所有

噢...... 你这就跟我走

IA

2008-09-02T01:10:00.002+08:00

Hm... should i take the risk to go for Barclay Capitals, or should i just stick with DSO? 4.8k vs 1k... But what if... what if... Barclay Capitals don't want me?! By that time, i won't be able to choose DSO too... I DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR SBS AS A FREAKING BUS DRIVER!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

STRESS? NO MORE! LOL!

2008-09-01T02:09:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA! After one of my group member discussed with me how irritating it is that a few members in the team are not contributing enough to keep the project alive, i decided to take a look at my GPA. 4.44. Might be something that many adore, but to me, its just a failed first class honours. So since i have given up on a first class honours, 2nd class isn't all that bad too~! ^-^

According to yaohui, 2nd class will just be $200 behind a 1st class. Hmmmmmm, since it would require some luck to get myself back to first class, why not just stay back and relax. Getting a 2nd class will just do fine~

2nd class upper will require a CGPA of 4 upon graduation. After some calculation... all i need is to get a score of 3.47 for ALL THE REST OF THE MODULES in my whole NTU life. LOL! OMG! Thats a 'B'! Well well well. 3.47+ for the rest of the modules? OK DE LAR!!! LALALA~ Group projects? SO WHAT?! LOL! Even if i get a 'C' for it, i just need to get a 'A' for a module without group project to offset it! LOL! Don't want to work? TOO BAD LOR!!! LOL!!! So SHIOK to have so much BARGAINING POWER!!! WOOT!

MMC reader!

2008-08-31T00:25:00.002+08:00

Yay! I finally got my very own MultiMedia Card reader~~~ Now i can transfer files from my handphone to my laptop and from my laptop to my phone without using the bluetooth function~~~ If the bluetooth function on my laptop is not mulfunctioning, it might take me another 1 or 2 years before i get a MMC reader. But anyway, since i got it, might as well use it to the fullest~~~

Went for a haircut too~ I got my ONION HEAD back! ^-^

果汁的故事

2008-08-29T03:23:00.003+08:00

每一杯果汁一打出来，自然而然就会被标上一个过期日。有一些果汁能放很久，有一些却只有短短三天的寿命。不论是长短，果汁还是会有过期的一天。

XX，你把果汁放太久了。。。

sick and tired...

2008-08-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

I am not a juke box... i am a human... i have feelings too... I will just have to bring the pain in my stomach and the agony going through my body along to my dreamland...

History lessons

2008-08-26T17:39:00.002+08:00

For the past 2 days, something weird has been going on. Yesterday, i have met 3 girls whom i rather not see, and an additional 1 today. Why would i be reluctant to see them? The reason is simple. I do not know how to react to them.

The first 1 was really nothing worth talking about. She is not my friend, but instead is one of my close friend's friend. By seeing me, it might have triggered some unhappy memories for her. Although for most part, it was her fault instead of my friend's fault, but i guess since it's all over, the blame game should stop too. I was just too glad that it was not my close friend who was the one who met her. If not, he would be devastated.

For the second one, in fact, we did not really had much contact too. We came to know about each other in FOC. Even though our conversation was rather stupid and lasted for less than an hour i supposed, i felt that she could be a nice friend in the future. So after the FOC, i tried to search for her through the usual channels. And it so happened that she was taking the same elective as i am taking this semester. Although i tried to communicate with her, it seemed that she was not interested at all. It was quite shocking, as she was friendly during FOC, and was as if she was hinting me "Go away, i don't want to talk" after the camp. Oh well. I am not losing anything too, so i wasn't really bothered by it. So, i would rather not see her, as i have absolutely nothing to converse with her, not even a greetings. lol.

The intensity seems to increase, and from the 2nd one to the 3rd one, there was a huge leap. We met each other in can 9. Or rather, she RECOGNIZED me and initiated a greeting before i found out it was her. She was a nice girl that i met during hall 9 FOC. I was a senior attached then. Our relationship was weird. I do not know how to explain it properly, but i will give it a try. It was as if we are friends, and we are not. NOT in the sense that we are strangers. When we were together during hall events, she would be very bubbly and did not fail to entertain me with her actions and talks. She would be like how a small sister treats a big brother. At times, she would be clinging on to me like a spoilt kid. But that doesn't mean anything more than her cute character. Some mistook it as a display of affection, but i did not take it that way, as i thought that was how she would act based on her character. Even though i liked her a bit more than a normal friend, i was still sane enough to not get myself into any kind of trouble. On the flipside, she was very unsociable when it came to communicating using technology (e.g. phone, internet etc). So it was as if we are total strangers. lOl. As we did not have too many chances to go out together, it was difficult to keep up with her, and eventually there was no contact at all. I will still want to talk to her as a friend, but it seems like our friendship have gone past the expiry date.

The latest one... I have to admit i liked her. But that was only judging based on the appearance. I do not know if she was outright gorgeous in everyone's eyes (seriously, many have doubt my taste at times, DUH! I have my own preference k!), but to me, i believed she was the kind who would melt every man's heart. We got to know each other through a very funny experience. It involved a lot of courage on my side, as i approached her out of nowhere to ask for her handphone number. She was with 2 of her friends (a guy and a girl if i remembered it correctly), and i just charged straight to her outside LWN library. Talking about stupidity, i was so nervous till the point that i even forgot to tell her my name before leaving. Yup, so i got her numbers without telling her my name. LOL! Anyway, we often communicated on MSN, but i was not able to ask her out. Nothing's gonna happen when 2 persons have no face-to-face interaction. It would just be a lame virtual "friend"ship where 2 robots issued commands to each other on a regular basis. I have to admit i am always at a loss when it comes to dealing with a girl i like. I knew it was dumb and the reply would just be a huge NEGATIVE, but i still did that. The rationale behind it was, i thought that it was getting nowhere as there was absolutely no chance for me to ask her out. So why not just shoot the question and let every other things take care of it? There was really nothing i could do anymore to make it better and so i made that decision. Naturally, i was rejected. I thought to myself, i gave it my best and there was nothing more i could do. I was not particularly sad over her reply, as i believed it had somehow eased the burden that i was carrying at that time.

You used to visit my blog frequently, and even gave me alot of suggestions. I am able to paragraph my writings thanks to you, and i really enjoyed the times when we were still keeping in contact. There were many times i have saw you, but by the time i have confirmed that it was you, you were already a distance behind me. If i put in some effort, i would definitely be able to catch up with you and say a "hi". But i didn't, as i no longer have the courage from the first time we met. I was afraid you might not reply, i was afraid you might not recognize me, i was afraid i recognized the wrong person... i was afraid i could not say anything more other than a "hi"... Stay pretty k? I hoped you have already gotten over the pain from your previous boyfriend. Who knows? You might already have found your prince charming. All the best. ^-^

what...?

2008-08-24T23:45:00.002+08:00

Maybe i was wrong about something that i thought a week ago... Am i really wrong about it...? What should i be doing instead then...? Ah... i have too many bad experiences to allow one more like this... How many years will it be this time...? I am not prepared to risk it... neither am i prepared to lose it...

Today will be the release of the last episode of 命中注定我爱你。。。加油哦忠明。。。

Effort == Return ?

2008-08-24T18:22:00.002+08:00

Sometimes people wonder. Does putting in effort ensure returns? In my opinion, i disagree. I am sure many have faced the problem where conversation is often one-sided. One party is trying hard to put in effort to keep the conversation alive, while the other makes no attempt to reciprocate. He/she will just be replying for the sake of replying, while the formal tries his/her best to come up with topics again and again. Is this a healthy conversation? I doubt so. So what can the formal do to make the conversation a better one? I would say, nothing. People often say, it takes two hands to clap. The same logic applies here. If you are just gonna stick your warm cheek to his/her cold butt (its a direct chinese translation of 把自己的热脸贴到别人的冷屁股上）, nothing's gonna change.

Why do some people only have the same group of friends for a donkey age, while some have different groups of friends in different stages of their life? Nothing can be said which is better, but the grass on the other pasture does always look greener. This is something that we, as social animals, should be pondering upon.

Business Plan... Hmmm...

2008-08-23T22:33:00.003+08:00

One of the module i am taking this semester require me to come up with a business plan. After giving it several attempts, nothing seems to be realistic, or at least did not even reach the standards that i have set in mind. 10 years ago, perhaps there are tons and tons of business ideas left to be explored. But now? From paying by cash for a bus trip, to inserting a bus card, and today, with an ezlink card you will be able to just tap it at the machine and have no worries for the rest of the trip (except for bus breakdown! lOl!) In my opinion, most of the things are already at their optimal efficiencies and further tuning will only be nitpicking. Business idea... Ha! What a joke.

九十九次我爱他 - 元若蓝

2008-08-20T12:10:00.002+08:00

保加利亚玫瑰的精油
全滴在他刚才牵过我的手
横冲直撞我的心像一颗躲避球
谁懂爱停在手里多久

学问道理教科书都有
恋爱上上签到底哪里求
如果有教授我一定要努力修
丘比特呀快为我加油

多想带着雷达到他梦里仔细调查
爱的正卡还有没有副卡
也想拿起扫把在他心底洗洗刷刷
不专心的念头哎咿哎咿都清除啦

九十九次我爱他
少了眼皮会乱眨
要他能心电感应我的想法
每天念着他的名字
哎咿哎咿一句不差

九十九次我爱他
少了头发会分岔
要他的想念每天准时打卡
爱像冰淇淋在嘴里溶化

学问道理教科书都有
恋爱上上签到底哪里求
如果有教授我一定要努力修
丘比特呀快为我加油

多想带着雷达到他梦里仔细调查
爱的正卡还有没有副卡
也想拿起扫把在他心底洗洗刷刷
不专心的念头哎咿哎咿都清除啦

九十九次我爱他
少了眼皮会乱眨
要他能心电感应我的想法
每天念着他的名字
哎咿哎咿一句不差

九十九次我爱他
少了头发会分岔
要他的想念每天准时打卡
爱像冰淇淋在嘴里溶化

九十九次我爱他
少了眼皮会乱眨
要他能心电感应我的想法
每天念着他的名字
哎咿哎咿一句不差

九十九次我爱他
少了头发会分岔
要他的想念每天准时打卡
爱像冰淇淋在嘴里溶化

Busy Days Are Over Soon

2008-08-20T11:51:00.002+08:00

It has been a few days since i last updated my blog. I was very busy with alot of university-related stuff, often resulting me in reaching my room late at night. Even though i have been so busy, there was nothing interesting in particular, and i also did not have time to come up with a topic noteworthy to blog about. Yup, i am still swimming, just that it is not on a daily basis. Time was one of the factor contributing to it, but the biggest issue was my body. I guessed i overdid it, and had caused strains in several parts of my body. But after 2 days of rest (including today), i should be going for another swimming session tomorrow. This time, i will remind myself to adopt the progressive training method. ^-^ As i am writing this, my lesson is still on-going. Guess what? I am in my room. Ah... The immense fatigue made me slept longer than i should have, and the next thing i know, i had skipped 3 hours worth of lectures. Time to catch up on them. TaTa~

命中注定我爱你

2008-08-18T04:23:00.002+08:00

I highly recommend this taiwan idol drama! 陈欣怡 is sooooo cuteeeee~~~ Anyone who is interested in 偶像剧 should give this a try! Although life cannot be as nice, but having a dream is not bad an idea har? ^-^

Next week (episode 24), the final episode will be aired~~~ So for people who hate waiting week after week, wait no more! ^-^

HOME

2008-08-16T21:00:00.002+08:00

Going home was not on a regular basis for me. But i guess it will be for the remaining semester. After putting in much thoughts, i have planned my tuition schedule to be on tuesday nights. This is also because of my student having the tendency of not being free on weekends. On the other side, i also planned to go home on weekends so that i can find a "motivation" to study. Since i do not have direct access to internet at home, there will be a higher tendancy that i will read some of my notes during my free time.

I guess i will also be making some changes to my life, especially forsaking play time for some studies to be done. Most probably, i will try to cut down on the time i spent playing DoTA and dedicate my time to academic purposes.

Recently, i seemed to be riding a roller coaster. I guess i'll be alright after some time, hopefully by the next weekend. I have also tried to take up swimming again in a bid to preoccupy myself with activities so that i won't have too much time to allow my mind to wander. Swimming is also a good sport which i had long wanted to do, as it will also build up my stamina which proves to be important in a lot of things i do.

Regardless, the current me will only be temporary. Given some time, i will be myself again in no time. Dropping all worries and regaining the happy-go-lucky attitude. Grow up dude. You can do it.

有感而发

2008-08-16T20:58:00.001+08:00

听了一百遍，泪也都干了。。。

若听个一千遍，心也该会死了吧。。。

假设每夜都得听个一百遍来停止悲伤。。。

再多九个不眠的夜晚应该就能获得解脱了吧。。。

如何渡过这一个夜晚。。。

2008-08-16T01:39:00.003+08:00

今夜就让元若蓝的《半情歌》陪我度过一晚吧。。。

=======================
花接受凋零风接受追寻
心的伤还有一些不要紧
我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌
=======================

不知从几何时我又慢慢习惯了孤单。。。

半情歌 - 元若蓝

2008-08-16T00:39:00.000+08:00

花接受凋零风接受追寻
心的伤还有一些不要紧
我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

你将会被谁抱紧唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

我的明天快不快乐都是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
另一半的歌

Tiring day worrrr

2008-08-15T18:14:00.002+08:00

Early in the morning @ 830, there exists a tutorial class. As to which module, i do not know. For i did not bother to wake up to attend it. HEH! I opened my eyes, knowing that i can go for the tutorial. But something in my mind tell me, i should just sleep a little longer. I did not manage to figure out who or what gave me this thought. The voice just kept resonating in my brain, urging me to return back to lalaland. Despite my attempt to fight back (duh, actually i did not, heh!), i continued to sleep on until the first lecture of the day @ 1230~~~

Lesson was the same o' boring stuff. I find it meaningless to listen to the CPE301 lecturer and if this goes on, i might be tempted to skip his lectures. Arghhhh, thats the last thing i want to do!!! Anyway, after lesson, i came back to the room and straight away requested a game of DoTA with BoonCheng and Ryuk~~~ But too bad Ryuk was not in room... Lesson so late worrr, poor thing. HAHAHA! So we went ahead and have a game first~~~ Stressful stressfulllll!!! But still won~

After the game, as promised(a promise made to myself, wakaka), i decided to go for a swim. I only swam 20 breadth, and its like taking every ounce of energy left in me. This is a great indication saying that i should start swimming more often, before i forget even how to do breast strokes. My freestyle was horrible. Totally out of this world. I do not know if its my technique or the lousy body i currently have. Most probably its a combination of both.

Just after finished swimming, i saw Yaohui running on the track and went over to talk. Just then, Huiqi called me and asked if i was interested to go for the concert held at LKC lecture theatre. I was initially quite reluctant, but decided to go since i have nothing much to do too. When i finally reached hall, she called again, telling me that there might be some problem with the queuing. Due to the initial reluctance, it only took a small spark to fix my mind on not going, despite being ready to leave my hall already. After rejecting the offer, i took out my laptop again, plugged in my power supply, and decided to play a game of dota with cheng and ryuk~~~ HAHAHA!

As i was not in my tip-top condition, i find it pointless for me to be there at the concert as they are going in a BIG group. Due to preferences, i would rather not hang out in a big group as i find it hard to manage everyone. You don't have to respond to everyone! Yeah, thats what i thought too, but i just can't seem to do it. I find that its a responsibility to make sure that no one feels left out (excluding myself).

Wanted to play DoTA lorrr, but Cheng and Ryuk said they wanted to have dinner first~~~ > . < Buttttttttttttt, i requested to follow them!!! HaHaHa~~~ I went over to their hall (hall 12... SO FAR), visited their room~~~ Wah lao!!! I also applied hall 12 but did not get it... The room condition is so good~~~ When i entered the room, immediately the atmosphere changed. 3 Leng Zai in 1 room, 帅到不行啦~~~ Stupid BoonCheng was making a game with gamemaker and Ryuk was lying on his bed looking SOOOOOOO tired. Shortly after we went to have our dinner at canteen 14. Waaaa, got 3 japanese girls worrr~~~ HAHAHA! Hum sap Ryuk action action, wanted to go approach the japanese girls, but in the end never~~ EEEEEE~~~

All good things must come to an end, dinner was over and so we went back. Then now... DOTA LIAO LOR!!!

21st August 2008

2008-08-15T00:21:00.001+08:00

There will be a singing recruitment at hall 10 on 21st Aug 08. Should be fun to go down and have a look. ^-^

未完成

2008-08-15T00:20:00.000+08:00

同情让人更加伤心
离开也许是一种解脱

我终究提不起勇气
只得默默的承受这个悲剧

若你心里已有别人
恳求不要再回头牵挂

我的心早已不属于我自己
不想要的是你的同情

无名曲

2008-08-15T00:13:00.001+08:00

当初的无情冷漠，让我不知所措
千方百计的逗你，却换来更远的距离

远远看着你的脸，你却不睬不理
正当我快要放弃，你终于有了些反应

水汪汪的眼睛，还有嘟嘟的嘴型
我看了一看，我情不自禁爱上你

当我们同在一起
我充满无比的感激
只要你一个微笑
全世界就变得华丽

那些可爱的表情
给了我致命的一击
我仿佛快要窒息
这时明白
我爱你

Headache...

2008-08-14T21:13:00.002+08:00

Whenever there is good things, bad things are bound to happen too. Just like Yin and Yang, there is an unspoken balance of happiness and sadness in one's life. Even though it was overall a fun day, there are also a few sad things coupled in between. I shan't talk about each and every one of them, but will instead pick one of them to mention.

Just before i was rushing for the dance class, Yaohui sent me a message, offering me the project for DSO-URECA which will be based in the lab that he is working at. If you ask me, i would say it is a great chance for me to seriously get something done. There isn't any bigger motivation to work in an environment where the person you admired works there too. So here comes the problem. After accepting the offer, finishing the dance class, coming back to hall, i realized that if i were to take on DSO-URECA, what is going to happen to my GIP plan? Sigh... My head is spinning now. A potential $3,000 reward + another project under my name VS a life time experience in China. Wow... as if i do not have enough worries on my mind... Well, well, life's like this...

MJ ROX!

2008-08-14T20:33:00.002+08:00

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! The MJ dancers are just fantastic!!! Seeing them dance, and trying to follow is totally 2 different things!!! The feeling is beyond words~~ Really had a lot of fun at the class, even though my own dancing is so retarded till the point of beyond recognition~~ > . < But nevermind! I will work hard and learn the dance steps taught to me today!!! 1 day, i will be able to DANCE that small set of dance steps!!! Woot!!! Can't wait to master it and show it to my friends!!! Dancer are cool!!!

Ohhhh, and i also got an offer for DSO-URECA from my good friend YaoHui~~~ Sigh, he is so capable, if only i can be as good as him. But at least he takes good care of me in terms of lobang!!! HAHA! Ok larrrrr!!! DSO-URECA i take the project based in your lab larrr!!! ^-^

Life can be so beautiful~~~ ^-^

what...

2008-08-14T02:56:00.001+08:00

Feeling weak all over... What is happening to me...? Where did this sadness come from wor... I think i should just get it over with...

Goodbye Singapore?

2008-08-13T18:26:00.002+08:00

As usual, i went for the CPE184 lecture this morning. Habitually, i bought the $2 breakfast from MacDonald. Tea and a burger. In fact, i was more interested in the tea than the burger. But oh well, since it can be treated as a decent breakfast with the addition of another $1.50 (in my mind, tea should only cost 50 cents, hence the $1.50), i bought it anyway.

Was late by approximately 10 minutes, but it was of no issue since the lecturer isn't convincing to begin with. After settling down beside Boon Cheng, i started to make my tea. Just then, he asked me something which unsettled me (ironical har). GIP. Yup. An oversea trip to work instead of having an IA(industrial attachment) in the local industry. The question was not out of the blue, as i had previously in mind that i might desire the experience to roam the outside world.

That was when i did not have any burden or concern. It is changes that made time meaningful. That mindset has since changed. If you were to ask me now, i would say i am not without worries. Family wise, in my current status, there shouldn't even be a problem. I am living as if i am detached from my home already. I still do go home, but it isn't something that will sway my decision. Friends, we can still communicate with each other online and all sorts of ways. What is left is the emptiness in the heart. 2 years before i am out of this "wonderful" place. Academically wise, university is a crap place where your grades mean nothing more than a professor's paycheck. Socially wise, one might not have a chance to meet as many people outside in the working society. Most importantly, the one in your life might not appear for a 2nd time. There are so many times where you think that someone is the one, but most often it never really materialize to allow you to judge whether he/she is the right one. Barriers are set up and we will never know if the ones we have in mind are the right ones for each other until the other party decided to fizzle the barrier.

Right now, i seem to have someone in mind, but it has been slowly fading away as the barrier never cease to grow stronger. Does perseverance really works? Changes grow with time, but does time really has the capability to change a person's heart? If only i had the answers to these questions, i will not be having a split headache resulting from the dilemma i am having now... I am hoping for something that will allow me to make my stand before this Friday... 2 days before the interview... wow...

Assume here, Assume there, Whatever lar

2008-08-12T23:21:00.002+08:00

Really had enough with people assuming all the things in the world. If you find something weird, before you jump to conclusion, ask will die issit? Assume assume, whatever lar.

CPE 301... #$^%$^$%&%$

2008-08-12T11:02:00.003+08:00

Missed 4 straight lectures of CPE 301 already... What the... The latest 1 was this morning. Thanks to the stupid NDP holiday on monday, which slipped my mind while looking at the timetable, i happily assumed that today was a MONDAY. Argh... Nicely done. Now i am trying hard to read the stupid lecture notes all by myself, and worst of all, everything doesn't make any sense!!! Am i supposed to remember all the stupid formula inside??? Omg... if only the lecturer can tell me or just put the god damn recorded video on the website!!!

To : Pressure Cooker (2)

2008-08-11T00:10:00.002+08:00

It has only been just a short moment and i am already missing having a conversation with you. As much as i want to talk to you, i remind myself that i cannot succumb to temptation. I must not forget the reason behind all these. Perseverance. I just hope that it works out fine...